The Inspirationals
by Sinister Scribe
Summary: Author's write to change things. An old friend of Cuddy's brings about some change. Complex and huddy. Marked as Complete coz i don't think i'm ever gonna finish it.
1. Chapter 1

Okay, I deleted 'Random' having discovered that I don't like writing in the first person. But I reread it and discovered that I actually like some of the scenes in it. So this is sort of a re-write with a healthy helping of decent plot shoved into it and mixed all together.

Again, I own nothing of House MD, though Nadia Darrow, Darren and a few other characters do belong to me.

Nadia is played by Emma Thompson.

The inspiration for this came from 'The grapevine' for the starting chapters and 'The Dating Contract' for other bits. I mean no disrespect to the authors of both pieces and hope they don't mind me going my own way for this particular story.

Read and review.

**The Book**

Cuddy strode into her office and slipped her coat from her shoulders with a casual shrug. Flipping it over the hook, she rifled through the papers she'd just been handed and dumped her purse neatly behind her desk. Sinking into the chair behind her massive desk she reached out with a blind finger and flipped the monitor of her computer on. Arching a brow at the latest thing from legal about House's budget she didn't even notice the package under her usual pile of mail until her hand knocked it on the way to her coffee and sent it clattering to the floor.

The thunk of the weight hitting the floor dragged her attention away from her spreadsheets and memos long enough to arch a brow down at the offending parcel. Cuddy set aside her papers and stooped to pick up the parcel. It was wrapped in bland brown paper tied with white twine instead of taped shut. Only her name was written on the front, not her address and not the hospital's either. Cuddy frowned and set the package on her lap, pulling at the knot on the string and listening to the crinkle of the paper unfolding as it was loosed. Tissue paper rustled as she swept it aside, her frown moving to more curious lines as she bit her lip and found a hardback book nestled within the wrappings.

It was a book. Who would send her a book?

A donor perhaps…Cuddy's expression changed to one of shock as she flipped the book over and caught sight of the front cover. _The Inspirationals _by Nadia Darrow. All the breath rushed from Cuddy's lungs as she stared at the book. She had never believed…my god. Cuddy opened the book with a creak from its too fresh bindings and flipped the first few pages open. A message was scrawled in writing that she had last seen a lifetime ago, with the tell tale curled edges of a dip-pen used instead of a biro. Cuddy's vision momentarily wavered as her head spun in shock. She swallowed convulsively and forced herself to read the message.

_Dear Lisa,_

_I finally did it. I finally finished the story. I know you never put much stock in me or my methods. I know this was probably the worst time in your young life, but we did sign a contract and I've finally come through on my end. _

_This is the first thing I've written since the accident. It seemed a fitting tribute to him, to write about something that he always believed in, especially about you. You know how he loved you as much as I do and he just wanted you to be happy, I'd like to think that some of the memories in here will help you remember what happy is._

_I write to change things, I always have. I hope this finds you and I hope that it changes something that matters. _

_Our love to you, Lisa, please read it. They tell me the ending's a kicker. _

_Sincerely, _

_Nadia_

Cuddy slapped the book closed and swallowed again. She turned her face into the sun shining through the blinds in her office window. The heat of the waning autumn sun dripped weakly over her face and highlighted the single tear that fell from her eye, falling in a droplet of gold and leaving a burnt trail of mascara behind it in a track of black down the curve of her face. Her lower lip trembled and she bit it hard between her teeth in order to make it stop. She stood suddenly, the book slipping from her numb fingers and clattering to the floor. She stalked to the window and watched the weather change. The entire room dimmed as the sun slid behind a cloud. The world became capped in a steel plate and suddenly seemed to press down on her shoulders. The first droplets of rain began to fall as she began to cry in earnest.

She snatched a tissue from the box kept on her desk to placate stricken family members when she had to comfort them. She pressed it to her eyes and tried to dab away the tears so her make up wasn't completely ruined by her outbreak of emotions. Fat droplets of water spattered like a dropped box of nails hammering against the window and the first sob was ripped from her throat like she'd been punched in the stomach. Her finger tips whitened on the edge of her desk as she clutched it and sank to her knees. She dropped to the floor and folded in on herself, her entire body shaking with grief, raw and uncontrollable as it flowed like a river from deep within her chest.

She stayed like that for a long time. One arm twisted up and holding onto the edge of her desk, the other pressed hard against the carpet with the useless crumpled tissue in her shaking fingers. Her shoulders shook with every gasping wrench of her sobs. Her forehead nearly touched the floor and her hair fell like a dark curtain around her face, effectively locking her into her own head.

The book lay innocently by her knee. Splayed, its covers both facing up towards the ceiling like broken wings. The title was a scrolling script of curling metallic gold and it helped to frame the scene of the cover. It was a wash of slate greys, as if they had run in the rain after the artist had painted it, leaving only the barest impression of two people standing in a downpour, a man and a woman, that much was clear. They were holding onto each other and at first, it looked like they were trying to push each other away and then…then you realised that they might just be trying to haul each other desperately closer.

Cuddy sniffed and managed to straighten enough to catch sight of the black and white photograph of the author on the back of the book. She swallowed and wiped at her eyes, reaching out reverently with shaking fingers and carefully folding the book back into its natural position. She pulled it closer, touching in sparingly with no more than two fingers at a time, like it might bite her if she weren't careful. She edged it closer and gradually her sobs reduced to hiccoughs and then slowly shaking breaths. Her tears slowed and finally stopped falling. A calm stole over her as she looked down at the face of the woman that had been the girl she had known.

Nadia Darrow was beautiful. Not in an entirely obvious way, but there it was. She was wearing a beatific smile in the black and white photograph. Her hair, which in reality was every shade of blonde and caramel and chocolate was twisted back from her face to reveal clean cut classical looks. Her eyes would be a sort of stormy grey-blue that could change from the lazy haze of a summer afternoon to the storming thunderhead steel of an impending storm. She had aged, in the last twenty years. There were lines at her eyes, but otherwise she retained her old English charm that she had always been so quick to use to every advantage.

Cuddy's head tilted as she tried to fathom the level of grief that Nadia would have suffered through. Darren had been Cuddy's friend, but he had been Nadia's lover. She must have been absolutely devastated. Cuddy knew that Nadia had written nothing in the years since Darren had died…and now she finally had. Cuddy wondered briefly why and then straightened herself with a long sorrowful sigh. She rose to her feet, straightened her skirt and set the book carefully on the edge of her desk. She swallowed another lump in her throat as she smoothed her hand over the blurred couple on the front. She traced her tongue over her lips and tasted salt there. She blinked rapidly, coming fully back to herself and realising exactly where she was. She strode to the small, hole in the wall bathroom in her office and straightened herself in the small square mirror in there, lit by the staccato fluttering of the fluorescent light over it that needed replacing. It took mere seconds, but she looked a world apart from where she had been moments before.

Cuddy strode to her office door and threw it open. Her assistant jumped and looked up. Cuddy ignored the way the woman tried desperately to please her with a kind of cool detachment. The assistant would be gone by the time she got back anyway. "What's your name?" Cuddy's face may have recovered from her breakdown but her voice was like she'd just gargled with a mixture of bleach and broken glass.

"Angela." Came the timid reply. Cuddy folded her hands in front of her and lifted them to point at the appointments book unfolded over the assistant's desk.

"Three months from now, there's an appointment with a doctor Deacon Fraust. I want you to bring it forward to this afternoon."

"What if he can't make it?" Angela asked as Cuddy turned away. The younger woman quailed slightly when the Dean turned to her and fixed her with a level and frighteningly empty stare.

"Get him here." Was all she said but Angela was left in no doubt that her job depended on getting Dr Fraust here before day's end.

HHHHH

"House, this was delivered with the rest of your mail." Cameron said as she handed a small brown paper parcel to her boss over the glass table.

House took it on an arched brow. "So, why didn't you open it?"

"It came by courier and it only has your name on it. I thought it might be private." Cameron defended herself and took a seat between Foreman and Chase.

House stared down at the package and fidgeted with the white twine holding it together. He held it up to his ear and shook it. "No, ticking, I don't think it's a bomb." He confided in his team with a malicious grin. Foreman shook his head and dropped his gaze to his chart. Chase smirked and chewed on the end of his pen and Cameron glared at House.

House ignored them all as he ripped the paper open and threw aside the crumpled tissue paper under that. He went completely still as he found his eyes landing on the photograph of an all too familiar face. He flipped it over and trailed his fingers over the gold writing of the title. He swallowed hard and stared down at the book. He opened it with the smallest of creaks from the bindings and found himself staring at the scrawling handwritten message inside without seeing. It took him a moment to realise that someone was speaking to him. He looked up and his eyes fell on Cameron.

"What?"

"Are you okay?"

He scowled at her. "I'm fine." He dismissed it and tossed the book onto the glass table with a thunderclap like thud. He turned and leant against the whiteboard. Scrawling the nickname of the patient at the top (Itchy Guy) he turned back to the team to ask for a differential. He yelled without thought.

"Leave it!" His voice echoed through the office and Cameron froze. Her fingers an inch away from the book. House limped over and snatched it up, tucking it in the crook of his arm. There was no way she was getting to read what Nadia had written to him. She'd get all…Cameron.

"Is it private?" Cameron prodded and house held the book closer, hiding behind his sarcasm.

"It's mine." He pouted and then straightened, but still held onto the book. "Come on, kids, differential." He ordered and turned back to the board. Cameron kept watching the book in House's hand. She wondered what it might be about. Making a mental note to buy a copy and read it herself, Cameron pushed any more thoughts aside while she momentarily focused on the patient. She could try and figure out House later, it was a favoured past time of hers, but the patient couldn't wait.

House tightened his fingers on the slick cover of the book. It had been years since he'd even thought about…he sighed and shoved that thought away as he focused on spelling one of the symptoms right.

He'd have time to brood later.


	2. Chapter 2

Okay, this one's a little more bittersweet than the farewell chapter in 'Random' was, but it think this one is better written.

Anyways, as to the Cameron bashing in the last chapter, everybody cheered it…but I never intended it to be Cameron bashistic, I guess it was a subconscious mauling.

(grin)

Anyways, read and review.

**Missing You Already**

"You're going to have to tell him."

Cuddy held on tighter to Wilson's arm as they walked arm in arm along the bank of the Hudson. It was lunchtime and they were due back in the hospital in a while but, for the moment, she could walk by the river with her friend and just enjoy the way autumn spoke. The way the wind murmured through the barren branches of the naked trees overhead, the way the leaves whispered down to the ground and then the way they cackled together underfoot as she and Wilson walked over them.

Cuddy sighed and shut her eyes. Letting Wilson lead them both along the sidewalk, she trusted him not to let her fall. Eventually her eyes opened and she turned them up to the scarred grey sky overhead. It dulled the usually vibrant colour of her eyes, making them glassy and doll-like.

She looked up at her oncologist friend and let an almost convincing frown of confusion mar her brow. "Why would I tell him?"

"Because you know what he's like." Wilson pointed out. She loosened her arm from his and stalked a few feet away. She didn't want to be holding onto him all of a sudden.

She snorted at that. "Yes, I do." She stuffed her hands into her jacket pockets and started walking again. Wilson had no choice but to trail after her. "He probably won't even notice for the first few days." Cuddy brushed it off and Wilson fought the urge to roll his eyes. They were both as bad as each other.

"He'll know right away." He was silent a beat, considering whether or not to say it or not and then deciding to hell with it. "The same way as you always know if he's there or not."

Cuddy stopped with a sharp click of her heels on the concrete and they grated as she turned to him with a single arched brow. "I know he's in the hospital because thirty seconds later, another law suit lands on my desk." She snapped and Wilson decided to let that slide, but not without an 'If you say so' look on his face. He was silent a few moments more, the sounds of their shoes on the concrete and the growl of traffic snarling past the only things eating into the gaping chasm of silence between them.

"Why?" He asked suddenly.

"I need a break." She answered in a verbal shrug. "I've been planning on going for a while now…I just brought it forward is all."

"How forward?"

"A few months." Something in her tone had him arching a brow at her. She shrugged. "Okay, more like a year."

"You should still tell him…especially if you're leaving to get away from him."

She sighed. Such a cavernous and weary sigh. Her head dropped forward. "My life doesn't revolve around him." Her words were as tired as she looked but they carried no weight. Like she was trying to convince herself as much as she was trying to convince Wilson. It sounded like a mantra she repeated to herself in an attempt to drive the message home. Then she lifted her head and shrugged it all away, just like that. She cleared her throat and linked her arm through Wilson's once more. "Deacon Fraust is replacing me while I'm away. He's a good administrator."

"And has the personality of a potato chip." Wilson told her as if she didn't know. "House'll eat him alive."

Cuddy shrugged. "I'll be too faraway to care." Wilson just stared at her, not quite believing that those words had just come out of her mouth. She looked out at the sludge coloured snake of the Hudson and pursed her lips. "We should be getting back."

Wilson nodded and they turned together to walk back to the hospital.

H H H H H

"So…where have you been?" House sidled closer to Wilson and eyed him carefully. None of his clothes were on inside out, that was a good thing. He wasn't sure about how he felt on the whole 'Wilson being extra-special friends with Cuddy' but he was pretty damn sure that he didn't want her to be the next ex-Mrs Wilson.

"Out." Wilson answered without looking up from his patient's chart. He flipped to the next page and then signed off on it. He snapped the folder shut and then tossed it in the 'done' pile. He propped his elbow on the side of the nurse's station and arched a brow at House. "Why do you want to know?"

"Cuddy seems a lot more relaxed and you went to lunch together…" He trailed off with a leer and a bob of his eyebrows at his friend.

Wilson rolled his eyes. "We're friends. That's all. The only one who's making more of it, is you." He said pointedly and House scowled at him.

"If you get married, no more naughty school girl for me…unless, of course, you don't mind sharing." House thought aloud as he popped a vicodin and then rattled the bottle back into his pocket.

"You're disgusting." Wilson grimaced at him. "And if you're so damn interested, why don't you ask her yourself. Here she comes now." Wilson pointed and House spun to see the subject of their discussion sashay her way along the corridors speaking to a tall ash blonde man. She looked…sad. That was his first thought. Usually she looked annoyed, happy, frustrated, pissed or generally tired but today she looked sad. She was covering it well but few people knew her as well as he did. He could see it behind her eyes, behind the curve of her mouth and the tilt of her head.

House's eyes moved to the tall drainpipe thin man trailing beside Cuddy with a long relaxed gait. He had the good looks of a male model. Ash blonde hair that flopped down over his brow in a vaguely Chase-esque way, dark almost black eyes swept the hallways as Cuddy kept up a low litany of the hospital's statistics. His suit was dove grey with a white shirt and sky blue tie, the creases were knife sharp and he looked like he'd just been popped out of a plastic toy package. _Mr Administrator, perfect hair, tailored suit,_ House's eyes raked over him and his mouth twisted with a faint curl of disdain, _no genitals. _

"Cuddy!" House announced the corridor in general and she stilled as his voice reached her ears. There was a momentary flash of horror in her eyes before she skilfully covered it. She pulled her composure over her like an armoured coat of boiled leather. She moved onto automatic introductions in order to give herself time to try and think of an excuse to get rid of House or beat a hasty retreat.

"Dr Fraust, this is Dr Gregory House, he's the head of our Diagnostic Department at Princeton-Plainsboro." Cuddy said in her best bland administrator's voice.

"Ah, fresh meat from the agency." House grinned down at her and she let her brow lower in a slight frown. "They're still managing to keep up with your appetite then?" he turned to Fraust and said in a loud stage whisper. "She goes through you guys like you're going out of fashion." He bobbed his eyebrows and leered a little too for good effect. He looked over and caught Wilson looking away as if embarrassed for his friend. House's brow caught in a frown.

"I see what you mean about Dr House." Fraust spoke in a cool voice that was as bland as milk. Barely any inflection at all in his clipped dry words and no accent to speak of. Though House would guess New English if he had to.

"You'll be working _under_ Dr Fraust, House." Cuddy said forcefully, barely acknowledging Fraust when he spoke.

House's eyes narrowed. Something was going on here. "I don't do the submissive thing so well, Cuddy. You know that." He told her suggestively and watched Fraust to see how the man might react. House stilled as he took in the reaction.

Or lack thereof.

Fraust didn't acknowledge House's inappropriate comments anymore than he acknowledged the nurses working at the other end of the hospital. It was as if the taller diagnostician was completely without the sphere of Fraust's senses. He didn't frown, he didn't get irate, he didn't even laugh or snort in suppressed amusement. House had to admit that he was thrown by the complete lack of reaction. Usually he could twist almost any response to suit his own purposes, but Fraust gave him nothing to work with.

A vague and eventual narrowing of his eyes was the only indication that Fraust gave that he realised House was a fellow human being. He turned to Cuddy and spoke with that same monotonous voice.

"I understand. I think that Dr House and I can figure out an arrangement during your absence, Dr Cuddy." He informed her and House's gaze snapped onto her with all the subtlety of a raptor sensing prey. Cuddy avoided his gaze.

"You're leaving?" He demanded, a lot louder than he had intended. Half the corridor turned to see Cuddy's answer. She turned to him slowly and her gaze raked him to let him know exactly how pissed she was at him.

"Yes." She snapped at him and then spun away. Clicking down the corridor in those expensive heels of hers. Fraust looked over House as if he were some vaguely interestingly shaped stain on the floor and then followed after Cuddy, listening to her tell him all about Radiology. House gaped after them both.

He didn't snap out of it until Wilson reached over with on finger and clicked his jaw shut.

H H H H H

Cuddy bent at the waist and pressed her clothes more firmly into the huge and battered duffle bag that was slumped in her hallway. She drew the string tight and then clipped the flap into place with an easy familiar movement of her fingers. Her boots clomped on the hardwood floors of her hallway as she hefted the bag over her shoulder and then moved out to her brand new SUV, tossing it into the trunk and shifting it with barely a grunt of effort into her preferred position. She straightened and tossed a stray lock of hair out of her eyes, her fingers checking the knot at her nape to make sure it was secure. She tugged the hem of her black cable knit sweater down a little to straighten it and then brushed her hands off on the dark denim of her jeans. She blew out a breath and turned to go back into her house and get the rest of her stuff.

She yelped in surprise as a familiar rumpled shirt covered chest jumped into her path. She slapped him automatically as she fell back on a vicious curse. Her heart pounded somewhere in the vicinity of her throat as she glared at him.

"Damnit, House! You scared me!" She snapped at him and he almost smiled at her. He leant heavily on his cane and looked her over with a smooth predatory gaze. She straightened under his scrutiny a trifle nervously. He had always been able to put her on edge like that, with a single look. Mind you, that hadn't always been a bad thing…Cuddy shuttered her eyes briefly in order to push the blushing teenage memory aside. She wasn't nineteen anymore, twenty years and a life time of hurt had passed between then and now.

Damn Nadia for trawling all this up again with her freaking book.

"Why didn't you tell me?" He asked her without further ado.

She shoved past him and moved back into the house to get her things. She still had a box of foodstuffs to get. "I didn't think you'd care." She said, unsure if it was a lie or not. She heard him limp after her. His shuffling gait a constant reminder of her guilt over him. She pushed that away too. This was why she needed to leave. She was too caught up in him. He had too much power over her, even if he didn't realise it. "This is very early for you to be up. It's not even eight yet, on a Saturday no less." She pointed out. The sun was just now shouldering its way over the blocky New Jersey horizon in a messy smudge of lukewarm colours.

"Haven't been to bed yet." He brushed that off and followed after her. "Well, you're coming back. There isn't a 'for sale' sign up in the yard." He told her as if she didn't know and a small part of her might have projected that relieved tone into his words.

"Hmm." She answered as she stuffed cereal into a box, along with other dried foods. She had a cool box that she stored meat in and looked up to find him raking his eyes over her packing, he was calculating, trying to figure out where she was running away to. "What do you want, House?"

"Where are you going?"

Cuddy ducked her head and hauled the box up into her arms, heading for the car again. "I'm not sure yet."

He snorted at that. "Of course you are. You know you're driving there, you know you'll need food when you get there and you know you'll need four wheel drive too. You just don't want to tell me."

"Imagine that, me wanting to keep some small portion of my life private." She tilted her head as if this surprised her as much as it did him. "How inconsiderate of me."

He glared at her. "This Fraust guy is boring. When are you coming back? I want to know if I have to bother training the new puppy." He informed her and sat on the tailgate as she finished shuffling the box about in the huge trunk of the monster car.

"I don't know."

"You plan everything, you must know."

"I'll be back when I'm back, House." She snapped at him and went back into the house for the cool box of meat. He hadn't moved by the time she came back with it. Why bother following her if he knew she'd come back…gee, _that _didn't sound familiar. She narrowly missed his fingers as she thumped the box into the trunk and he arched a brow at her.

"Why are you going?" His voice was quiet. Softer than she would have imagined and her eyes flew to his. She suddenly realised how close they were. Him sitting on the tail of the SUV and her leaning into the trunk, they were practically nose to nose, she swallowed hard, her gaze dropping to his mouth of its own volition. She pressed her lips together and backed off a few inches. "Is it because of Nadia? Did you get a copy of the book too?"

She looked away. He was breaking the rules. They weren't supposed to talk about that. He had been bending them, toying with the rules, ever since they had started working together eight years ago but he'd never outright just abandoned them. It threw her momentarily and she reached up and fixed hair that didn't need fixing as she pressed her lips together into a thin white line. She finally shook her head on a sigh and rested her hands on her hips, looking at him once more.

"I need a break. There's this asshole at work that makes my job stressful and I decided I needed to get away before I burned out." She told him matter of fact and his eyes narrowed at her. He ignored the barb and went for the jugular. That's what he was good at.

"The hospital's your life. Lisa Cuddy does not burn out, you don't know how, you little workaholic." He prodded at her and she just shut her eyes and sighed for a moment.

"I haven't always been this way." She reminded him coldly. Two could break the rules. He stiffened at that and sat back as if she'd slapped him instead of spoken quiet clipped words that stung like a fistful of glass shards to the face.

He looked away from her and dipped his head. Something very like guilt flickered over his features and she was almost sure it was a trick of the light as it vanished as quickly as it had come. He worked his jaw until the bones clicked and then he looked back at her. He shrugged. "What can I say? He was a bastard."

She nodded slowly, her eyes never leaving his. "It could be argued that he still is."

"So this is your grand plan?" He changed the subject brightly if a little forcefully. "You ride off into the sunset and come back whenever you feel like it, take up the hospital reins once more and continue mushing along as per usual?"

She nodded. "Sounds about right."

He stood and looked down at her. Watching her slam the tailgate shut and lower the trunk door with a thunk of solid metal. "You ready to leave now?" His voice was low and the words sounded wrong for the tone. He sounded like he should have been asking her to stay. She nodded without looking at him. Turning, she moved back to the house, picked up her last few things by the door, locking the it and then strode back to the car. Shoving her jacket and small bag into the passenger seat and then slamming the door shut. She turned around and smothered another yelp as House was there, all but pinning her against the slick hull of the car. He reached down and threaded his fingers through hers under the pretence of taking her keys from her. His eyes slowly rose to meet hers. "I'll water your plants." He told her.

"I gave them to a neighbour." She murmured, damn, why was he so close?

"I'll house sit then. Make sure you're not burgled."

She snorted and tried to inject some of their old banter into the conversation. "I'd rather take my chances with the criminals." Her smile died on her lips with the sheer intensity of his gaze lancing her, she backed fully against the car and he simply took another half step closer so that she could share his body heat in the brisk fall morning.

"I might not see you for months then, the least I can do is make use of your cable." He was quiet a moment and his eyes traced the shape of her mouth as easily as his fingers might have done…had done in the past. "Do I get a goodbye kiss? You'll have to give me something to make up for the lack of decent funbags in the hospital for my viewing pleasure." He reasoned and she gave a small chuckle until she realised that he was serious.

"You're not joking?" She asked him incredulously, trying to stamp down the great leap of enthusiasm her sex drive gave at the prospect of necking with Greg House…again.

"I never joke about the serious subject of kisses." He told her and moved a little closer to her, his mouth lowering a fraction to hers. His brows rose as she remained frozen in place. "Well?"

She sighed. Sure, what else did she have to lose where he was concerned? She closed the distance between them and brushed her lips over his in a brief and almost platonic kiss. She moved away just as quickly and her head nearly thumped against the car so quick was her retreat. He chuckled and braced his hand beside her head on the car window. He met her gaze and tilted his head as if admonishing her for getting his hopes up. "Now, I know you can do better than that." He all but growled to her and his fingers tilted her chin up as his mouth came down over hers. He gave her plenty of time to move, but when she didn't deny him, he took complete possession of her mouth.

She stilled in shock as the electricity that always hummed between them sparked and flared to life in a thrumming revitalising current. His lips angled more forcefully against hers and his tongue swept into her mouth with a sizzling contact. Her shoulders pressed hard against the unrelenting metal of her new car as she arched her back to him and wound her arms up around his neck. Her fingers slid through the short cat soft hair at his nape as she kissed him back just as fiercely as he expected. The years melted away and they were suddenly young and vital again. None of the hurt or guilt existed between them, none of the barbs, the history or the new lovers. Just this single overpowering attraction that had always succeeded in making the rest of the world go away and leave them alone to melt into each other.

His hand slid down over the smooth column of her neck, boldly over her heavy breast, sliding with a gentle bump over the ridge of her ribs, across the planes of her stomach and then shockingly pressing between her legs. The heel of his hand grinding the worn denim of her jeans hard and intimately against her. She gasped as his mouth trailed along the line of her jaw and down her throat, apparently intent on following the path his hand had just travelled.

A car backfiring brought Cuddy back to the real world with an uncomfortable thump. She abruptly shoved House away and panted heavily as she tried to convince her body that it wasn't worth the short term pleasure to be with him. She was still licking her wounds from the last time she had given in to him and that had been twenty years ago. He still had his hand braced against the car, sheltering her body under the lean arch of his, his breath also came in winded gusts as if he hadn't expected quite that reaction either. He swallowed hard and straightened away from her. Clearing his throat with a grunt.

"That was a proper goodbye smooch." He told her, attempting to look pleased with himself but still a little too dazed to successfully pull it off.

She nodded and straightened her sweater. Her legs wobbled slightly but she got herself under some semblance of control with a sheer act of will. "Yes…ahem, well. I'll be going now." She stuttered and sidled around the car to get into the driver's seat. She buckled her belt with trembling fingers and then zapped the window down when she saw him standing by her door. He looked at her for a long moment as if wanting to say any number of things. All of them scrawled across his face, plain as day but too fast for her to accurately read before the next one usurped it.

"Drive safe." He settled on and the air rushed from her lungs. Well, what had she expected? A declaration of remorse for…she heaved in a deep breath, she had to get over this.

"I will."

"And call someone when you get to wherever the hell it is you're going." He growled at her and she could see the concern under it, but she knew better than to comment. "Wilson will want to know that you haven't just fallen off the face of the earth." He grumbled and popped a vicodin. "He's kind of attached to you now."

She let a small smile curl her lips at that. "I will." She turned the key in the ignition and the million horsepower diesel engine roared to life under the hood. He smirked at that, she had always liked noisy things.

"Bye, Lisa." He said softly, so softly that he couldn't be sure she would hear him over the massive engine.

She did though. She always heard the things that he never intended her to. Her eyes travelled over his face searching for…for what? He didn't know, judging by her expression, he didn't think she found it. He briefly wished he knew what she wanted…because, at that moment, he would have given it to her without a moment's hesitation.

"Bye, Greg." She said and reached out through the window, her finger sliding over his cheek in a brief farewell. He felt immediately bereft when she withdrew her hand and pulled out into the street. He watched her drive away and felt something tear loose in his chest. He wanted to hang his head down and not let himself watch, but he couldn't drop his eyes away from the massive car. He watched it until the brake lights disappeared from view and still he stood there for a few uncounted moments after.

Eventually he sighed and turned to go back to his bike and then he supposed he might as well go to work and find someone to make miserable. She had been gone barely a minute and already he…

Yeah, his first thought had been correct.

He missed her already.


	3. Chapter 3

Okay doke kiddie-winks! Here we are with chapter number three!

WOOT!

Anyways, this is going to be told through flashbacks, phone calls and excerpts from the book 'The Inspirationals'. So there.

And it was pointed out to me that I seem to be particularly nasty to Cuddy, since I throw her down stairs and get her punched and all sorts of interesting things like that, not to mention making her break down in tears in her office.

In my defence, however, I would like to point out the ridiculous amount of Huddy luvvin that the woman is subjected to, the babies that are provided and the happy endings that miraculously turn up every damn time.

Mazeltov.

Anyway, enough ranting, read and review me.

**Drive Away**

Cuddy's fingers tightened until her knuckles shone white on the leather wrapped wheel of her SUV. She blew out a long breath and released one hand to scrub it into her hair and try and relax a little. She had been on the road for just over two hours now. Well on the way to her destination. She looked out at the rolling hills and wild country side that sprawled unkempt around the interstate highway. The radio gave soft lulling sounds and mindless babble in the background. The map was rumpled on the passenger seat beside her but she wouldn't need it. She knew the road. She knew how far and how long she had to travel and she knew it would take her most of the day to get there.

She still couldn't believe that she was actually going back there…

Cuddy sighed again and fixed her eyes on the road. She glanced away a moment later to rummage on the seat beside her. She found the bottle of water with ease and clicked the sports cap out with her teeth before taking a long drink of the icy liquid. She gave another casual glance as she tossed the bottle back onto the seat and froze as her eyes fell on something unexpected. She cast another glance at the road to make sure she wasn't about to careen off into the hard shoulder and then reached down to pick up the now familiar greyscale and gold cover of _The Inspirationals_. She stared at it for a moment, she hadn't realised she had brought it. She had intended to leave it behind. Cuddy scowled as a sudden anger lashed through her. She rolled down the window at her side and a roar of wind whipped through her hair.

She switched the book to her other hand and held it out the window, fully intending to let it drop to the roadside and never see it again…but then her eyes caught on the picture of Nadia grinning out of the back of it. Cuddy's jaw tightened and she growled before yanking her hand back in the window and then tossing the book into the back of the car. It thumped against the plush leather seats and Cuddy resolved to forget about it as she rolled the window back up.

Cuddy groaned in annoyance with herself as she let her head thump back against the headrest behind her. She had been so stupid to take Nadia up on her offer…mind you, if she hadn't, then she probably would have never gotten through medical school in the first place. She owed Nadia her career. She owed Nadia a phone call for the past twenty years of trying to forget about her. She owed Nadia…a punch in the face. Cuddy gritted her teeth and then forced herself to relax. Cuddy wondered exactly how much of the real events of the 'Inspirationals' had gotten into the final book. Surely Nadia's publishers would never have let her write a novel about such things?

Cuddy tried to look at it from and outsider's perspective. From the eyes of someone who hadn't lived through it and hadn't felt their heart be torn apart by someone who they thought had been…yeah, she definitely wanted to hit Nadia if she ever saw the author again. Cuddy thought back to the first time they had met nearly twenty years ago. As far as introductions went it was fairly odd, but then, Nadia had been and probably still was a fairly odd person…

…**flashback…**

_Michigan U, 1988_

"Mom, I can do this, I'll get another job. I'll find the money somehow." Lisa assured her mother for the umpteenth time in the past five minutes. Lisa stood by the payphone in the dorm room and felt her shoulders tighten. She hated these weekly phone calls home but…she couldn't stand the guilt of not phoning either.

"Another job? You're already working three? When are you going to find the time to study on top of _four _jobs?" Vivian Cuddy demanded coolly down the phone line. "Lisa, you need to get your head out of the clouds, don't be like your father…"

Lisa felt her jaw tighten and her teeth grind together. Determination flared in her.

"Don't you dare bring him into this. This is nothing to do with him." Lisa snapped without thinking about it. "This is my life and my choice and I _will_ do it."

Vivian was quiet on the other end of the line and the only thing to be heard between the two women was the faint static of a less-than-perfect line.

"Honey," Vivian wheedled. "I worry about you. The last time I saw you, you were skin and bone. Maybe you should come home for a while, take the job at the diner, save up a little before going back to school."

Lisa sighed, holding the phone away from her ear as she did so her mother wouldn't hear it. She let her head fall back against the cool plastered wall of the dorm room hallway. She stared sightlessly at the ceiling. It was always the same. Her mother would never get it.

"Bobby still talks about you, you know." Vivian added exactly when Lisa knew she would. Lisa shut her eyes in a pained expression at the thought of Bobby's sweet, baby-ish, _boring _face. They had been something of high school sweethearts and her mother, and Bobby, had always just assumed that Lisa would let these ideas of being a big doctor in the city seep out of her head as soon as she realised how much hard work it was. That she would come to her senses and come on home, marry Bobby and have a bunch of kids, join the PTA…the list went on. Lisa shut her eyes in a sudden flash of temper and slammed her fist against the impassive wall. She hissed in the refreshing bloom of pain as it radiated up her arm and managed to transport her out of this conversation for a few numbing seconds. Then it receded, and she realised she'd have to actually talk to her mother.

"Really? I never think about him." Lisa answered. She knew her voice was cold. She knew it was unkind, Bobby had never been anything but kind to her. He had asked her opinion on everything, desperate not to insult her in any way, shape or form.

It had been infuriating.

"Lisa!" Vivian gasped.

"Listen, mom, I have to go. I've got a lecture in a half hour and I need to get ready for work before then."

"But…"

"I'll talk to you later, bye!" Lisa hung up before she'd even heard her mother's response. She stared at the slick black handset that her hand still rested on and let her shoulders slump. Guilt washed through her on top of the ache from her knuckles. She looked down and frowned at herself when she realised that she had split the skin on them. She really needed to learn to control her temper.

Perhaps she was a little bit like her father…Lisa shook her head, sending her long dark hair flying about her shoulders. She wouldn't think like that today. She had things to do. Lectures to go to, things to learn, money to earn, rent to pay, food to…not afford. Lisa sighed and scrubbed her hand through her hair. She was so tired. Tired of working twelve hours a day, studying for nine and sleeping for…when was the last time she had actually slept? She looked like hell, she knew that, but she couldn't afford a day off.

Lisa opened her eyes and prepared to go back to her room to get ready for work. She blinked rapidly as her head spun. She hadn't eaten yet today. She shook her head rapidly and shrugged it off. She was young and she was fit, she'd bounce back.

If she managed to beg a meal from the restaurant where she worked tonight.

Lisa squared her shoulders and pushed back the dizziness of low blood sugar with a sheer act of will. Well, standing around here thinking about it wasn't going to earn her money or grades or put food on the table. Lisa set her jaw and headed for her room. She was going to get her books and then she was going to her lecture and, if she didn't pass out from hunger, then she was going to work.

HHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

Lisa heaved in a happy sigh as she ate her sandwich and trudged along the rooftop walkway back to towards the dorms. She wasn't, strictly speaking, supposed to be up here but she always found it peaceful to stand above the city and look down at everyone else being busy and scurrying about their daily lives. Wrapped up in their own little worlds and only occasionally clashing with another's sphere of life.

She supposed that meant she had some kind of complex but she just couldn't bring herself to care. She moaned in the sheer sensual pleasure of a grilled chicken, bacon and mayonnaise sandwich. There was a bag of leftovers from the restaurant under her arm and she firmly intended to eat them before they went off. She rounded the corner on the roof and froze as she saw something that wasn't included in the ancient college building's usual architecture.

A woman, no, a girl not much older than Lisa stood on the wall that surrounded the roof. She had her eyes closed, her hands stretched out in front of her as if resting on a shelf of air. Her blonde hair hung in a wild tumble of caramel curls about her shoulders. A hand-rolled cigarette was perched between full lips and there was a half bottle of vodka tucked into the back pocket of her corduroy pants.

God, was she going to jump?

Lisa stepped forward and cleared her throat as loudly as she dared. The girl blinked rapidly and dropped her hands to her sides, spinning on one heel to glare down at Lisa.

"Yes?" The single word was laden with sarcasm and an English accent.

"Are you okay?" Lisa asked warily. The ledge upon which the young woman stood was perhaps six inches wide and she seemed to be perched rather precariously considering she wore only flip-flop sandals on her feet.

The woman waved her hand with a plume of blue-grey smoke from her cigarette. She puffed a smoke ring out into the bright sunshine filled air of early evening and then turned her attention back down to Lisa. "I'm perfectly fine. So nice of you to ask, now go away." She turned back to the air in front of her and, subsequently, a six storey drop to the campus lawn below.

Lisa licked her lips. "You sure? You want to talk about…anything?"

The woman's eyes snapped open and she glared at the skyline a moment before turning to look down at Lisa again. "What in the name of hell would I want to talk about?"

"Well, you are standing on the roof of a building looking like you're about to throw yourself off." Lisa pointed out as gently as she could.

The woman grunted in a 'don't be stupid' manner and then turned to look down at herself. "Huh." She said after a moment. "I suppose it could be construed that way." She noted casually. "But I'm not going to jump." She assured Lisa.

"Then…" Lisa found herself asking. "What are you doing?"

"Research." She answered as she spread her arms out in front of herself again. Rolling her shoulders to be more comfortable.

"Well, if you're planning on counting how long it takes for you to hit the ground, you'd be better of using a dummy. If you miscount the first time, I don't really think you'll get a second chance." Lisa pointed out.

The woman's eyes snapped open and she let out a sudden bark of laughter. She turned and dropped down onto the main floor of the roof with Lisa. "You're rather amusing." She told Lisa and clapped her on the shoulder with a surprising strength. "What's your name?"

"Lisa."

"I'm Nadia. What are you doing up here? Students aren't allowed." Nadia asked.

"You're here." Lisa defended herself.

"Ah, but I'm not a student." She stubbed out her finished cigarette on the wall and then promptly lit the one that was perched behind her ear. She inhaled deeply from the noxious smoke and blew a ring up towards the bright blue sky. "I'm a writer."

Lisa arched a brow and nodded her head in an exaggerated fashion. She was nuts was what she was. "What were you researching?"

"Suicide." Nadia answered with a casual shrug and Lisa tilted her head forward, silently asking Nadia to continue. "One of my characters wants to throw their self off the roof of their university, so, here I am."

"To see what it's like standing on the edge of a college rooftop?" Lisa clarified and Nadia nodded with a grin.

"University and, wow, you're clever." Lisa couldn't tell if Nadia were being sarcastic or not. The other young woman's eyes roved over Lisa and she resisted the urge to shift uncomfortably in her cheap polyester uniform. "But you work hard, when other students are partying, you can't afford to buy your own food and you've obviously been up for several days on end …" Nadia ticked her fingers against her leg and seemed to be mostly talking to herself. "Here on a scholarship?"

Lisa nodded, wondering how quickly she could excuse herself from this conversation and go home for some well deserved sleep. Tomorrow was Saturday, which meant no lectures and only three four hour shifts in two restaurants. Nadia stepped away from the wall and stalked around Lisa, surrounding her in a ring of blue smoke from her cigarette as she did so. Nadia tilted her head and Lisa just watched her, too tired to do anything else.

"You seem real." Nadia murmured scraping her thumb nail across her lips and waving her cigarette under her own nose.

Lisa blinked. "Of course I'm real." Lisa was quiet a moment. "It's not as if I can afford to be anything else."

Nadia tilted her head and tapped her thumb against her lips. "Quite." Was all she said and Lisa had the sudden impression that there was some furious thinking going on behind those cool grey eyes that seemed to dissect her every movement.

"What?" Lisa asked a little nervously and Nadia shook herself back into a smile.

"Oh, nothing to worry about I was only wondering…"

"What?" Lisa said again, this time more wary.

"How would you like to be an inspirational?" Nadia put it to her and Lisa frowned.

"An inspirational?" She queried and Nadia nodded enthusiastically. "What, exactly, is an inspirational?"

"Exactly as it sounds, darling." Nadia smirked and folded her arm congenially across Lisa's shoulders. "You see, I'm a writer and I've been thinking about this new idea of how to go about writing a book. I want to write a real life story, something that has really happened and really affected someone. So, why not write about real people? Hire someone to be the main character? Someone to tell me their quirks, hear how they speak and think and all that kind of thing. Makes them seem more realistic if they actually are real." Nadia explained and Lisa's brow furrowed.

"So it's a job?" Lisa didn't want another job.

"Sure, if you want to be mercenary about it." Nadia shrugged. "Try to think of it more like a slice of immortality. You're spirit in print." Nadia offered seductively and Lisa resisted the urge to laugh.

"You can't be serious. Nobody would hire someone to just…tell them about their day."

"Oh, of course not, where's the plot in that? I'd have to give you tasks and you would have to carry them out and tell me what it was like to do them." Nadia said brightly, evidently warming to the idea.

"Like jumping off a college roof?" Lisa said pointedly.

"University, and obviously not!" She sounded offended at the very notion. "We'd have to have a contract I suppose. Something binding…" Nadia trailed off as she thought about it some more.

Lisa had listened to enough of this nonsense. "Well, as marvellous, and ridiculous as that sounds, Nadia. I've got to go. I have to get up early to work tomorrow." Lisa ducked out from under Nadia's arm and stalked away from the English woman. She stopped walking at Nadia's next words though.

"A hundred thousand dollars."

Lisa froze and spun slowly to stare incredulously at the author. "_What?!"_

Nadia smirked. "That's how much I'll pay you. One hundred thousand."

Lisa snorted, nobody would just give away that amount of money. She looked back at Nadia. The English woman smiled and rocked back on her heels, her hands buried nonchalantly in her pockets as she offered more money that Lisa would probably ever see in the next few years as casually as if she were offering a light for one of her cigarettes.

"Seriously?" Lisa's whispered question was almost stolen away by the cool afternoon breeze.

"Just think, Lisa." Nadia stalked forward, sensing she had the other woman on the ropes. "You can quit your three or four jobs, move out of the, quite frankly, disgusting halls of residence, devote most of your time to studying…eat a meal that you've paid for instead of worked tirelessly for. You could fulfil your dream of becoming a doctor and not have to go back to the backwater town that you've clawed your way out of." Nadia prowled around Lisa, whispering temptation in her ear. "Never have to see Bobby again."

Lisa whirled on her. "How did you know about that? The other stuff you could have guessed but that…"

Nadia smirked. "I overheard your conversation in the hallway today with your mother. I knew then you were exactly who I wanted." Nadia folded her arms over her chest and tilted her head at Lisa. "My offer's genuine. All you have to do is a few simple things, report back and I give you everything you've worked tirelessly for in the last year on a silver platter."

Lisa tilted her head and narrowed her eyes. "How do I know you're good for it?"

"My second name is Darrow." Nadia said casually and Lisa's eyes widened.

"_The_ Nadia Darrow?" Lisa gaped. "The genius child writer that had topped the New York bestseller's list with everything she's ever written, _that_ Nadia Darrow?"

"Also known as the girl with more money than God. So, do we have a deal?" Nadia held out her hand towards Lisa and the student stared at it. She bit her lip and looked back to Nadia.

"I won't have to do anything that I don't want to?"

"I told you, we'll have a contract and you can dictate your own terms, but I do reserve the right to try and convince you if you're on the fence about something." Nadia demurred and Lisa worried her lip a moment more before shuffling her bag of begged food and talking Nadia's hand in her own.

"Done."

Nadia's grin was wicked and Lisa had a sudden premonition that this deal might turn Faustian on her.

"Fan-fucking-tastic!" Nadia grinned and her grip was firm over Lisa's. She reached over and plucked the bag of food from Lisa, she tossed it over the side of the roof without batting an eyelid and looped her arm through Lisa's. "Now, first things first, we're going to go and get you a decent meal that isn't a few hours old and then we're going to go over the contract with Darren."

"Darren?" Lisa was still a little dazed as to what exactly she had just agreed to.

"Mmm! Yes, Darren is the boyfriend this week, he's a pre-law student. Argues about everything, it's fabulous. He's in a band as well, be still my heart. Now, he's going to think you're adorable!" Nadia grinned, caught up in her own enthusiasm. "He'll draw up a contract for us both to sign and then everything will be safe and binding." Nadia grinned.

Lisa was quiet a moment as she was lead towards the fire escape to clatter back down to ground level. "So, what's your story about then?"

Nadia swung her leg over the edge of the roof and clunked down the first few rungs of the ladder before looking back up at Lisa as if it were painfully obvious. "Why, my dear Lisa, I would have thought it obvious. It's going to be the greatest love story of all time." She grinned then and Lisa could only stare as she disappeared out of sight beyond the rooftop wall.

…**end flashback…**

Cuddy couldn't help but smile at the memory. Only Nadia would be mad enough to offer a hundred grand to a complete stranger on the basis of an eavesdropped phone call. But then, Nadia believed in living life to the absolute max. Most of her idea had been completely off the wall but nearly all of them had yielded bestselling results. Nadia really did have more money than God and she'd been generous with every cent of it.

Cuddy looked out the windshield and really took in the landscape for the first time in a long time. She blinked, not having realised she had travelled this far. The car thrummed under her with an easy tireless power and bore her up the steep incline of the road that she was winding along right at this moment. A sheer drop was on one side of her and a steep cliff on the other. She had driven right up into the mountains on a road that she knew by heart. It was etched in there along with the build up of pain that had been scrubbed into it like dirt in a wound.

She didn't have far to go now.

The road levelled out slightly between the towering peaks of the Appalachian Mountains. Old Douglas Fir trees, pine and a variety of others that she couldn't even begin to name painted the mountains in the deep greens and fiery gold of autumn and impending winter. Cuddy kept driving her smile coming from nowhere as the happy memories of the time, still coloured bittersweet but not as depressing as the others, clawed their way to the fore of her mind and demanded recognition. She had been so young the last time she had been here. So energetic, stupid, happy and…in love. She had been hopelessly in love the last time she had travelled this road. Sudden tears burned in her eyes but they weren't the gut wrenching tears of grief that she had given into yesterday. They were softer and somehow infinitely sadder. She sniffed and brushed them away with an insistent sleeve. God, she had definitely needed a break, she was just breaking down left, right and centre this week. Her heart stilled and her breath caught as she rounded the final curve in the road and travelled the last few hundred yards towards the cabin. It seemed somehow smaller than she remembered, or the trees were larger with twenty years of growth to them.

It stood nestled under the natural cathedral of the ancient arching green branches overhead. The car rumbled to a halt and Cuddy swung the door open as the engine died. Her boots clomped over the huge slabs of granite than had been formed into a path leading to the front porch. The caretaker had been right. It was a little run down but still in essentially good repair. She would have to fix a few things but that would be something to keep her occupied in the long solitary days ahead of her. Cuddy tilted her head skyward and shuttered her eyes simply inhaling and _being_ in the ancient forest. She spread her arms on a sudden grin and laughed as she spun around in tight dizzy circles. She opened her eyes and skidded to a halt, the springy turf soft under her feet as she found herself looking out over the glassy blue surface of the small lake by the cabin. Her eye caught on the single cherry tree that stood down by the shore.

She wandered closer to it, not quite knowing if she wanted to get closer to it or not. It had been here the last time as well. It had been struck by lightening in a hot summer storm that had caught and burst on the mountaintops. Instead of killing the tree, the lightening had almost acted as a catalyst for growth. The tree had been split almost cleanly in half with the single thick trunk splitting into two jagged bows and spreading out with bony fingers towards the sky. Cuddy suddenly remembered why she had loved it here in the spring and summer. Now it stood barren and bare against the skyline, but then, then the tree had been covered in bright pink blossoms in the summer. They had drifted down on them like pink warm snow as they had…

Cuddy sighed and pushed that memory away. She still wondered if this had been the right place to run away to. For that _was_ what she was doing. Just seeing that book had dredged up more painful memories than she had been able to deal with. It was slightly ironic that she had fled to the exact place that should have had her ripping herself apart from the painful past but she had been happy here. Ecstatic even.

Maybe that would help with the healing.

Cuddy took the last few steps towards the tree and looked down at the pale brown bark. Her fingers reached out and traced over the jagged carving there as if of their own accord. It was a single love heart with an arrow piercing it cleanly. Two names were scraped into the tree's flesh so deeply that even twenty years of hard exposure to the elements and a lightening strike hadn't managed to erase them. Cuddy smiled softly as her fingers traced the letters over and over and over again.

It said simply;

_Lisa and Greg._

_Forever._


	4. Chapter 4

Eeehh…yah.

Hullo there, ugh, I hate work.

Umm, introductions to Darren and a bitty of House sarcky in there for Drifting Spirit, though not much as it's with Wilson as I always find Wilson a difficult character to write since I don't actually pay that much attention to him or like him very much (sorry any Wilson fans out there).

Thanks for all the lovely reviews, they really help with the whole inspiration thing.

Ever noticed how that Shore dude never follows through?

House's leg hurts, now it doesn't. Cuddy wants a baby…then she doesn't (still haven't seen episode 3x09 so don't ruin it for me). Tritter's going to skoosh House like a bug and then…House gets off with a _warning?!_

Quoi the fuck people?

The dude should seriously learn to follow through, that's just bad writing (trust me, I know, I've done it myself often enough) of course, had I not seen like every episode of House five gazillion times then I wouldn't be able to point out these little factoids.

But still… this on top of the distinct lack of Huddy is pissing me right off.

Urgh.

Right, there's my rant, especially for you guys as I know you missed it :D.

Read and review me.

**Hope**

House lounged on an exam chair and watched his hand held television with barely repressed boredom. Nothing interested him. He'd tried the PSP and had nearly thrown it across the room in disgust, he'd taunted the team only to find that their reactions were completely predictable and he still couldn't get that Frost guy to have any reaction other than to blink.

There was only one person that had that magic dose of unpredictability and she had headed for the hills that morning.

House would swallow nails over bleach before he admitted it but…he missed her. How completely pathetic.

Speaking of, Wilson opened the door and slipped inside, shutting it with a quiet click behind himself. The younger doctor nodded in a jerky greeting to his friend and House merely grunted in return.

"Ah, that bad huh?"

"Don't know what you mean." House feigned ignorance and wasn't fooling anyone.

"Oh please, Cuddy left this morning and you've done nothing but brood all day."

"Cuddy's gone?" House arched a brow. "I knew I was missing something. Mind you, her gigantic ass _is_ difficult to miss." House looked to the ceiling as he pretended to ponder on that one.

"You know, she's not even here to overhear you. You could admit that you like her." Wilson prodded him. "Where do you think she's gone?"

"You mean she didn't tell you? Her 'safe' friend?" House took an unholy measure of glee from that small telling fact. So he didn't know either but he saw no reason to tell Wilson about that. Besides, he would probably figure out on his own eventually. He settled back on his bench and tried to ignore the coiffed one. "Haven't thought about it." He said as negligently as possible and looked up with a glare as Wilson threw back his head and laughed.

"Who exactly are you trying to kid?" He demanded. "You think about _everything,_ House. I'm betting that you don't know where she's gone either and it'll slowly drive you insane until you figure it out. Then you're probably going to go after her just so you can make her as miserable as you are."

House frowned at his friend. "Jealous, Jimmy?"

Wilson snorted in apparent disgust. "Just leave it, will you? Let somebody recover from you for a while. God knows, she needs it more than the rest of us." Wilson sighed and rubbed at his forehead before looking at House one last time. House resisted the urge to shift uncomfortably under the intense scrutiny he was being subjected to.

"You really care about her, don't you?" House's voice was quieter than he had intended. Hell, he hadn't intended on blurting that question in the first place. He knew Wilson had liked Cuddy, Wilson liked everybody, but he hadn't realised that his friend actually _cared_ about Cuddy.

His Cuddy.

The thought came unbidden but House didn't bother to refute it even to himself. About twenty years too late for that one. She would always be his, whether they both liked it or not.

"Almost as much as you do."

House nearly missed the muttered words over the sound of the shutting door as Wilson left the room and left House alone with the mindless babble of the handheld television. The babble that abruptly coalesced into a familiar voice. House's gaze snapped down and he stared at the familiar face to accompany the voice. His mouth actually fell open as Nadia Darrow appeared on the television screen. House blinked as the image disappeared with a snap. He stared at the television and shook it. His eyes went to the red light that blipped unhappily to indicate that the batteries were flat. House cursed and hobbled to his feet. He had to find a television and fast.

God only knew what Nadia might reveal in an interview about that fucking book.

As he headed for the elevators his mind flashed back to the first time he had seen Nadia all those years ago. If he had known then what he knew now…hell, who was he kidding? He still would have done exactly what he had. He had been helpless to her since the first moment they had met. Nadia had only instigated matters, unwittingly albeit, but it had been her that had cast the dice.

And it had been him that had come up with the romantic snake-eyes.

…**flashback…**

_The Belltower, around the corner from Michigan U, 1988_

Greg sighed as the eight ball kicked off the corner pocket and spun away uselessly over the green felt of the pool table. He glared at Darren who had his chin resting on his pool cue and a shit eating grin pulling at his pierced lips. Greg straightened and lifted his glass of scotch, pulling it back in a slow swallow and scowled at his best friend as he spoke.

"You willed that on me, you dick."

"You bet your ass, G-man. I want to win some of that money back." Darren smirked and reached up to brush his hand over the bright purple and black Mohawk that striped his skull from front to back a six inch long brush of dyed hair that had no business being on a law student's head. He rolled his tongue bar over his teeth with a clink that was barely audible over the cacophony of noise in the smoke hazed bar and bent to the pool table to take his own shot. The piled muscles on his solidly tattooed arm rippled as he tilted his head and searched for another shot. Light sparkled off the myriad of piercings on his lower lip, ears and eyebrows. He looked up at Greg from kohl blackened golden eyes and grinned. "Taking my girl out tonight." His teeth were a blaze of white. He made his shot and the ball obediently slunk into the middle pocket. Greg swore softly and drank some more. Darren just hitched his low slung leather pants up a little higher over his hips and slunk around the table to line up another shot. Silver nipple rings caught the light from under his fine mesh black tee shirt. Shitkicker boots completed the mean mother ensemble and Darren definitely looked the part of his a-man-with-which-one-did-not-fuck reputation.

"It's pathetic how caught up you are on her." Greg pointed out, hoping to throw off his friend's aim if nothing else.

"I know." Darren smirked and sank another ball. "It's fucking A."

Greg scowled and looked about the bar. If he were honest with himself, and he wasn't exactly chomping at the bit to do that, then he would be able to admit that he was jealous of what his friend had. He had only seen them at a distance together but they looked happy. He'd had the bare impression of a slimly curving blonde on Darren's arm one night as he was dropping his friend off at the dorms.

"What's her name again?" He hadn't forgotten but he wanted Darren to think that she was beneath his notice.

Darren straightened and glared at Greg. "Nadia Darrow." He said slowly and then extended the cue across the table levelling it at Greg's throat like a sword. "Be nice to her."

Greg shrugged, a little put off by his friend's aggression but determined not to show it. "I'm always nice."

"The shit you are." The cue was still levelled at his throat.

"Oh yeah, sorry, I was thinking about somebody else." Greg grinned, the cue didn't waver.

"I fucking mean it, you say something stupid to her and I'll rip your throat out with my teeth."

Greg blinked. Darren was deadly serious, and having been a fellow military school escapee, he was perfectly capable of the action. Greg nodded slowly. "Alright, brother, cool it." Greg held up a hand. "I'll be the perfect gentleman."

Darren jerked his head back in acknowledgement and lowered the cue. Greg had meant what he said. They only called each other brother when they meant it. It was an unspoken and unbreakable vow to each other. Greg would be nice if it killed him. Darren bent back to the table and sank another shot. Greg's scowl returned, he was going to lose a lot of money on this game. He could feel it. "So…" He scraped his thumbnail over the chalky end of his cue. "What's she like?"

Darren straightened and took a slug of his beer. He swirled the bottle as he thought about it. How could you summarise a girl, no, woman like Nadia in a few sentences? He shrugged helplessly. "She amazes me." He bent and took his shot. The ball sank into the pocket with ridiculous ease and then he straightened again to continue telling his closest friend about the woman he loved. "She's so smart, like, _you _smart. She talks and you just want to listen for hours. She's got this _hair_ and, man, her eyes…there isn't anyone like her." Darren shook his head, completely convinced that this Nadia chick was the greatest thing since groupies.

Greg tilted his head. "Zesty?"

Darren grinned a purely male expression. "The girl's got citrus on tap." Darren sank another ball. "Not afraid to try new things either." He smirked at that particular memory.

"Ah, the perfect woman…she got any friends?"

Darren laughed. "Not anyone that would stand up to you, brother. I guess you'll just have to stick with the 'get some then get gone' approach."

Greg shrugged, feigning nonchalance. "Works for me. I have a whole planet of ladies to get through."

"'Through' being the operative word." Darren smirked. He straightened again, abandoning the game as his thoughts swung back to Nadia. "I mean it, man, if she were the type I'd marry her."

Greg had the misfortune of trying to down his scotch at that precise moment in time and coughed horrifically as the liquid revolted halfway down his gullet. "_What?!"_

Half the people in the bar turned around at his hoarse bellow. One look from Darren had them abruptly going about their business. Everyone in here knew better than to mess with the two leading men of the in-house band _Talentless Youth_.

"Did that word seriously just pass your lips?" Greg demanded, staring at his best friend like he'd sprouted another head.

Darren nodded a trifle defensively. "Bet your ass it did. I want the whole world to know her as mine." He scowled.

Greg straightened, relieved a little. "So this is just a territorial thing?"

"Fuck no, I'm hers as much as she's mine."

Greg shook his head and didn't even smile when Darren finally missed his shot and allowed him to get back in the game. He lined up his own shot. "That is downright unnatural, brother." He muttered and Darren actually laughed.

"The hell it is, just you wait until it happens to you. I'm going to laugh my tattooed ass off."

Greg shook his head. "Never happen."

Darren cocked a pierced eyebrow at him. "Never say never."

"Hello boys."

Darren and Greg whirled as one and Greg's eyebrows took off into his hairline. The most _gorgeous_ female creature stood opposite them both. Greg let his laser blue eyes trail over her in a blatant and assessing manner. She was tall, maybe five nine, in three inch heels that had wicked black snakeskin pointed toes and long black sating ribbons that crossed over her shapely legs right the way up to mid thigh. A brief leather belt masquerading as a skirt was slung low on her hips and brushed her thighs, a simple black silk shirt, open nearly to the navel and displaying a rather fine rack in a hot pink bra completed the outfit. A string of black and pink pearls ringed her throat and dangled from her ears. Her stormy grey bedroom made up eyes flashed with intelligence. Caramel coloured hair tumbled about her face and down her back in a riot of corkscrew curls that made male fingers itch to swirl through. Her black painted lips split in a grin as her eyes fell on Darren.

"Hello lover." Her English accent lent a surprisingly exotic tilt to the words that shot straight to the groin and Greg was knocked momentarily speechless as Darren shot him a grin before going to his woman. He slipped his tattooed hand under the heavy mass of her hair and pulled her mouth under his in a fierce and branding kiss.

"This must be Nadia then." Greg muttered to himself as he lent back against the pool table and sipped his scotch draining the glass. Time to move onto something stronger he thought. Grey Goose vodka sounded like a plan. He motioned to the bartender and mouthed the word 'goose', swirled a finger to indicate for all three of them and a waitress was sent scurrying to fill the order. Greg turned back and blinked when he saw that Darren and Nadia had apparently forgotten that they were in public. Greg whipped out the pool cue and slapped Darren hard on the leather clad thigh with it. Darren pulled his mouth away with a growl and rounded on him.

"What?"

"Well, I'm enjoying the show but I was just wondering if you wanted me to start charging admission?" Greg spoke pointedly and cast a look to the way some of the nearer patrons were staring slack jawed at the way Nadia had shoved Darren's shirt up over his pecs and the black lipstick stain that was swirled around one silver nipple ring.

Nadia chuckled, not embarrassed in the slightest and extended her hand towards Greg when Darren made no move to introduce them. "Nadia Darrow, you must be Greg."

Greg took her hand at the warning glare Darren shot him. "Pleasure." He said smoothly and Nadia chuckled.

"No it's not. You hate people."

Greg shrugged. "I promised I'd be nice." He smirked at the waitress and took the glass of Goose from her as she held it out to him. Nadia and Darren took theirs and Nadia sipped tentatively. Greg rocked back on his heels, impressed despite himself, when she didn't cough and splutter like most folks would on downing the fiery drink.

"Smooth." She said and swirled her ice with a clink. She turned to Greg. "Darren tells me you play lead guitar in _Talentless Youth_." It wasn't a question but Greg nodded anyway. Nadia looked between the two men. "Are you two playing tonight?"

Darren linked his arm around her waist and sipped his vodka "It's open mike night until midnight. So I'm afraid you'll have to put up with some cheap imitation until then, babe." He set his glass down and settled back against the table wrapping his other arm around her as well. "How was work then?"

Nadia immediately brightened and slapped her lover's chest to emphasise how pleased she was. "Mmm! I found her!"

Darren frowned. "Found who?" It was not unnoticed by him that Greg finished their pool game and pocketed the pot without a further word, but he didn't care now that he had Nadia to occupy him.

"The inspirational I was looking for." She grinned and Greg (who had decided it would be easiest to be nice if he just didn't say anything) supposed this would make sense if he had been listening to the start of the conversation, but instead he focused on feeding quarters to the table and setting up for another game. It was only fair to give Darren another chance to win back his money. He listened with half an ear as Nadia continued. "She's fabulous. You're going to absolutely adore her!" Nadia bounced on her toes in her excitement and Greg wasn't above enjoying what it did to her curves as she did so.

"Why do I need to meet her?" Darren asked and freed a hand only long enough to take another drink and offer the glass to Nadia as well.

"You have to sort out the contract for us. You know, legal rubbish." Nadia waved a hand dismissively. "Now all I need is a leading man." Nadia grinned and turned slightly to look around the bar. "You need to help me look."

Darren grinned, deciding to go with the game. She was absolutely insane but he loved her for it. There was nothing he wouldn't do for her and if looking for a lead character for her novel fell under that heading, then he would do that too. "Alright, babe, what qualities are you looking for in your leading guy?"

Nadia tilted her head and thought about it.

"Well, this girl's a hard worker, I don't think she'd know fun for the sake of it if it jumped up and bit her on the arse…a bad boy I think." Nadia tilted her head. "Someone to shake her up. She seems quite forceful as well, knows what she wants, so somebody that won't take no for an answer."

Greg officially had no fucking clue as to what was going on, so he decided to break and watched the balls scatter across the velvet field before choosing the easiest shot and sinking two balls simultaneously.

"Oh!" Nadia continued as a thought apparently just occurred to her. "He has to be clever as well. She's here on a scholarship and is as smart as a whip. Already second in her class and wanting first."

Darren tilted his head. "Is she sexy?"

Greg winced and waited for the inevitable gasp of outrage from the girlfriend and the resounding slap that was sure to follow. It never came. He looked up from his shot, missed completely and stared as Nadia actually considered the question before answering.

"Yes. Well, she will be once I get her a decent wardrobe. She's a bit poor at the moment."

Darren snuck a glance at Greg out of the corner of one tawny eye and smothered a grin as a wicked thought occurred to him. "I really need to know what she looks like if I'm going to recommend the guy I'm thinking of."

"Oh no, darling, you don't understand. I don't intend for them to actually date each other. I'm going to send them off to find someone for themselves. I can't choose for them."

Darren frowned. "Why not?"

Nadia blinked. "Well that's just…rude." Nadia said eventually and Darren threw back his head and laughed.

"Only you, babe." He said to her and dropped a kiss on her lips. "Well, I think this guy will do it anyway." Darren shifted Nadia slightly and then moved to take his shot. Nadia watched the game with a mild kind of interest and didn't appear to be bothered at having her man leave her side for a while. Which was fine with Darren, clingy chicks drove him up the wall. And not in the good way that Nadia did.

Greg was watching them, wondering what guy Darren was on about. Darren may have been the only person that Greg would tolerate calling 'friend' but Darren was nothing if not sociable so it could have been any number of guys.

"You think he'll go along with it?" Nadia asked and toyed with the chalk cube, swiping a blue line along her palm.

Darren laughed. "You kidding, the guy's a bastard, he'll do almost anything if the price is right."

Nadia tilted her head in interest. "What does he look like then?"

"Tall, dark, blue eyes, skinny as a rail but built with it." Darren reeled off a list of attributes about this guy as he set about systematically destroying Greg's carefully constructed chain of shots that would win him the game. "Bit of an athlete, arrogant, doesn't like rules or regulations, the epitome of bad boy." Greg frowned as facts began to tumble down in a cascade of thought in his head. He looped his hands over the top of his cue and stared at Darren with a hard warning glare that was promptly ignored. "And he's wearing faded ripped up jeans, black and silver cowboy boots and a white muscle tee."

Nadia whipped her head around and looked to Greg. She grinned another dark grin and Greg shook his head.

"Well, isn't this a happy coincidence?" Nadia noted and Greg decided that nice could go and screw itself.

"Hell no, I'm not getting paid to pity fuck some geek." He stated emphatically.

"Makes a change from you doing the paying." Darren said with a warning glare.

Nadia folded her arms over her chest and sighed. "Men…they never listen." She snapped her gaze back to Greg. "Oy, stupid!" She said and Greg blinked at her. People just didn't talk to him like that. He cast a glance at Darren who rolled his shoulders menacingly. Greg sighed and gritted his teeth. Determined that his friend would pay for this restraint he was showing. Nadia stalked towards him and got right up in his face. "I'm not paying anyone to fuck anyone. I'm paying someone to be an inspiration. They go out they find a date and go through the imitation of courting someone and falling in love. You just have to go through a few scripted dates and report back."

Greg frowned. "That has got to be the most insane thing I've ever heard of."

Nadia shrugged. "There's a fine line between madness and genius and I like to flirt with it." She rocked back on her heels slightly and tilted her head at him. "So, you up for it? I can give you anything you want." She said with a taunt in her voice and Greg arched a brow. To hell with nice, he wanted to push her a little. He leant forward, leaning down off his cue and stared into her eyes levelly.

"Right now I want sex, you going to give me that?"

Darren stiffened and Nadia held up a hand towards him. "He's just being an arse, Darren." She turned to her lover. "You tell me what he wants most." She demanded.

Darren gazed at his friend. His mind searching for something that would make even Greg House sit up and listen. He tilted his head as his brain lit on something. A small grin kicked his lips. "A car."

Nadia's brows flew upwards and she turned to Greg. "A car, that's it? A hunk of metal?"

Greg glowered at his friend. Darren smirked back. "Not just any hunk of metal, a bitchin' hunk of metal."

"Ooh," Nadia grinned getting into the spirit of things now. "What do you want, Greg? A Cadillac? A chevy? Mustang? Jaguar? Bentley? Aston Martin? Rolls Royce? What?"

Greg looked to Darren. "She for real?"

Darren sipped his vodka, enjoying the show. "You'd better believe it, brother. Do yourself a favour, give in now, she always gets what she wants." Darren reached out and stroked a hand down Nadia's arm. Nadia smirked at her lover and then turned the full level of that grin on Greg. With looks like that?

He'd just bet she did.

…**end flashback…**

House limped up the garden path and twisted the key in the lock. He had no idea why he was here. He had intended to go to his apartment, he had meant to go to his own television but somehow…the bike had steered itself here of its own accord. He clomped his way into Cuddy's hallway and shut the door quietly behind him. He hobbled through to her living room and sank down onto her couch, he flipped the television remote at the flat screen television and it blinked on. He hopped between channels until he landed on the interview.

Nadia lounged casually back on the chair she was sitting on between another guest and the host of the show. She was laughing at something and shaking her head.

"No, no, no." She said. "I'm not kidding you, the story is absolutely true. Everything. The whole she-bang." Nadia tilted her head as if to emphasise the point. "It started off as something I was going to take parts of real life and incorporate them into the fiction but, as it turned out, they were both much more interesting on their own."

"These are real people then, walking around somewhere? Do they know they're in the book?" The other guest asked.

"Oh, I should think so. I did tell them I was going to write it." Nadia nodded slowly, she turned to the other guest. "Have you read it, John?"

John shook his head. "Not yet, though I am interested now." He laughed.

"And the book is available in the shops as of…next Monday, yes?" The host asked and Nadia nodded.

"Correct."

"Have you made any changes at all to the main characters, because, I've read it and Sinclair is an absolute….well, I can't say what he is on national television but he really does get under your skin." The host laughed.

Nadia chuckled. "He's worse in real life, trust me, but he can be incredibly sweet as well. The only thing I changed were the names of them. You know, legal rubbish."

House's eyebrows rose in remembrance of the first time she had said that.

"Now, don't get me wrong, it's an excellent book. My only complaint is the _ending!"_ The host held up his hands in silent but emphatic outrage. "How could you leave it like that?"

"Oh, shush, shush, don't ruin it for anyone." Nadia said on a smile. "And _I _didn't leave it like that…Sinclair did. I just recorded the events, nothing more."

"So, don't shoot the messenger?"

"Absolutely." Nadia nodded.

"Well, as much as I would really love to sit here and talk with you all day, I'm afraid that we've run out of time today…"

House sat back in the couch and stared at the television, not really paying attention any more. So she had kept everything literal. He supposed he should actually read the damn thing, to see if she were telling the truth. Knowing Nadia though, he strongly suspected that she had recorded every damn thing word for word. He settled back onto the couch, allowing his head to sink into the plush cushions there. She loved cushions, she had mountains of them everywhere. On her couch, on her armchairs and all over her bed as well. A small smile kicked his lips, they had driven him nuts when...his mind shied violently away from that thought. He hadn't thought about that in a long time.

And he wasn't going to start thinking about it now. No point in dredging it all up again. She had forgotten…or had she? She had gotten a copy of the book too, she had run away from it. People didn't run from nothing, she still must feel…something. House stilled at that thought and something bloomed hot and squirming in his chest. He tried to tamp it down, he tried to push it away and ignore it but apparently he couldn't be numb anymore. His mind wouldn't let him sedate himself to what his heart was screaming at him. That hot sloshing liquid of sensation in his chest was nearly alien to him, he had been so long without it…

It was hope.


	5. Chapter 5

**I'm really not very happy with this one at all. I don't know if that's just me, but this has been giving me trouble for a while now and I just thought I'd better update the sucker before it slipped firther and further away from me. **

**Coz it's gonna be good goddamnit. I've decided. This is my masterpiece and I don't want to ruin it with careless chapters. **

**Argh. **

**Anyways, it's not a very long chapter and I think it's a bit out of place with the rest of them. So give me a while to think it over and I might just go and replace it on y'all. **

**Anyway, review me and let me know what you think. **

**House Call**

House jerked awake on the unfamiliar lump of a Victorian style couch. He grimaced at the screams and yelps of protest his muscles gave at being forced into an upright position after so long at being horizontal. Grumbling, he dry swallowed a vicodin and grimaced as he tried to identify what that infernal racket was that had woken him. His laser like eyes finally landed on the guilty phone handset and he snatched it up with a scowl.

"What?" He demanded gruffly and his entire posture changed as her familiar voice addressed him with a slight laugh.

"Did I wake you?"

He scrubbed a hand guiltily over his face. "Cuddy, no, I… well, yeah, actually you did." He shifted uncomfortably as she chuckled on the other end of the line. "How did you know I'd be here?"

"You have the keys to my house and I'm not there to ride herd on you, where else would you be?"

He nodded. "Point."

"So…have you de-alphabetised all my DVDs yet?"

He laughed slightly at that. "That is stage two of my nefarious scheme."

"What was stage one?"

He sat back and mused at how easy it was. It was easy to ignore all the feelings that roiled just beneath the surface of their relationship. True, their particular friendship had never been exactly placid, but they were good at hiding their true feelings from each other. Or at least, they had learned to ignore it. It was very much a 'don't ask and don't tell' attitude. They ignored the truth of their history together in favour of an easier to deal with lie. He always waxed lyrical on how everybody lied…and he was the biggest one of them all.

"House?"

Her voice snapped him back to reality. "Oh, I glued all the furniture in your office to the ceiling. Should have seen that Fraust guy try and get into your chair."

"It's his chair now."

"It's _your_ chair because you're coming back." He told her a little more forcefully than was necessary. He scrubbed his hand over his face again and realised he was probably going to rub his nose right off if he wasn't careful. He wondered, though, he wondered what might happen if he were to bring up Michigan, to bring up Darren or Nadia, how would she react? "Did you take your copy of the book with you?" He blurted suddenly.

Silence crackled along the line.

"Lisa?" He nearly cursed himself for using that name. The name that he wasn't allowed to say, not because she had forbid him from it, but because he had given up the right.

"I'm still here and…I have it with me." There was the sound of her shifting in her seat. "I'm looking at it right now."

"Have you read it?" He was sitting forward in his seat now, eager to hear her reply. That new hot quaking sensation of hopefulness swelled in his chest until he thought he couldn't breathe from it. So much hung on her reply, so much that she didn't even realise it. Maybe if she read it, maybe if she understood…maybe he wouldn't be completely crushed by the memories anymore.

"I don't know if I'm brave enough to." She admitted quietly. "It's…difficult to think about it, never mind read about it. Besides," Her voice changed then, losing its vulnerability and becoming the stronger surer tones that he was more familiar with hearing from her. "What difference would it make if I read it?"

His shoulder slumped and defeat loomed over him, preparing to rush down and crush his chest in a vicelike grip of reality. For one wild moment, he had hoped, he had dreamed of some crazy…never mind. "I don't know, I guess…I just thought it would be interesting to see both sides of the story, that's all." He could hear the apathy in his voice. The cynicism creeping back in with insidious tones and he suddenly hated it. He wanted to scream until it was gone from his throat. He pressed the heel of his hand against his temple and drummed it there, attempting to knock the encroaching shadows from his mind. He didn't want to go back to that dark place where there was no light to see. Even if it was so far above it was out of reach, he didn't want to give up that faraway illumination.

"Interesting? You thought revisiting…_that_ would be interesting?" She sounded incredulous and the excuse was flimsy even to his own ears.

"I suppose." He mumbled.

She laughed suddenly. Bitter. "Oh, Greg, do you think we'll ever stop lying to each other?" She was quiet a moment and he let his silence answer for him. "Do you think we were ever truthful?"

He was seized by a sudden reckless need to shock her, to have her know that she wasn't the only one that reeled over this. "I have never lied about how I've felt." He heaved in a breath. "Not to you. Not ever."

There was a stunned silence that thundered. She fumbled the phone, he could hear it, and scrambled to recover it. "What?" She demanded. "What does that mean?"

"Figure it out, you've got all the answers right there in your lap. All you've got to do is read the damn book." Then he hung up the phone and hauled himself up off the couch. He walked restlessly from one end of the room to the other and wondered what to do with himself. He knew he didn't want to leave. If he couldn't be close to her then he would be close to things that were hers. Things that she had picked out and lived with, things that smelled like she did. He finally ended up in the kitchen and, when no other opportunities presented themselves, he settled to making a sandwich. He munched thoughtfully on the slightly stale bread and stared out at the dusky bleeding colours of the twilight sky. He wondered what she was doing now.

Was she reading the book?

Was she sitting staring dumbfounded at the phone?

Had she tossed the phone back in the cradle and gone to make herself a sandwich, not knowing what else to do with herself?

House stared out at the falling night. He was a man that thrived on answers. When he'd had nothing else he'd always had the need to find an answer to a question. It had been his constant throughout his entire life. Now, however, he found himself with too many questions and the answer hundreds of miles away.

He felt lost and the only thing he could do was wait for her to find him again.

…_**excerpt from 'The Inspirationals' by Nadia Darrow…**_

_Michigan, 1988_

"_Well, what do you think?" Nadia asked with a smirk. _

_Greg could only stare. His mouth hanging open. _

_It was love at first sight._

_Nadia leant against the shining hood of a 1969 Cadillac Impala. It was a gleaming midnight blue that changed to deep purple depending on the angle you viewed it from. Cream soft top roof, cream leather interior and white rimmed wheels. _

_Greg could only stare. His mouth hanging open. _

"_My god, he's speechless." Darren crowed on a laugh and Greg was still so stunned that he couldn't even glare at his friend. "Quick, Nadia, a camera. This must be captured for posterity." Darren grinned as he wrapped his arm over Nadia's shoulders. She reached up and laced the fingers of one hand through his much larger one. She used her free hand to toss the keys to Greg, who caught them only after they thumped him squarely in the solar plexus. He pointed at the car and then looked to Nadia. _

"_For me?" _

_Nadia nodded slowly. "For you." _

_Greg switched his gaze to Darren. "You have my permission to marry the woman." He told his friend and then unlocked the car door and slid in behind the wheel. For a moment he just ran his fingers over the plush leather. The car was evidently old but had been kept in mint condition or expertly restored. Either way, Greg didn't care it was quite possibly the most beautiful car he had ever seen. He pushed the key into the ignition and felt a purely rapturous smile curl his lips as the engine quite literally roared to life. This was no coughing kitten of an engine. It was all lion under that hood._

"_Like a kid at Christmas." Darren noted as he slipped into the passenger side. Nadia curled in next to him. The bench seat more than adequate enough for all three of them to fit in the front comfortably. _

"_My mountain bike was nowhere near as loved as this is." Greg told his friend haughtily and then looked around him to see Nadia. "What do I have to do to keep this?" _

_Nadia smirked. "Just a few dates with the woman of your choice and then you report back to me. The car's your payment and there's a further ten thousand in your bank account for expenses." _

_Greg could only blink at her. "Is this book going to be worth all this?" _

"_Are you kidding?" Nadia laughed. "My reputation alone will sell five million copies of the book, then there's the PR campaign on top of that, the curious first time buyers and then the resurgence in popularity for all my previous works. Trust me, I've got the cash." She waved at the road in front of them. "Now, to the coffee shop. I have to meet my second star." _

_Greg nosed the car away from the kerb and into the light afternoon traffic. The engine thrummed under the hood and Greg leant his arm on the lip of the open window and just enjoyed the sensation of driving such a beautiful car. There was nothing quite like the ride in a Caddy, unless of course you had a ride in the back of a Caddy as well…Greg grinned at that thought too. The ladies would love this car almost as much as he did. The coffee shop was only a short drive away and Greg was itching to get out on the roads for some proper driving. He wanted to see what his baby could do. He flexed and drummed his long fingers against the wheel as they trundled along in traffic. It was not beneath his notice all the stares that they garnered and he smirked to himself as Darren just rolled his eyes to Nadia. _

"_So…what's the geek's name?" Greg asked conversationally as he steered one handed and glanced over at Nadia. _

"_She's not a geek and I'm not telling you." Nadia said dismissively and Greg frowned. _

"_Why not?" _

"_Because it would be remiss in my duties as a fellow human being to inflict you on her." Nadia smirked at him and Greg narrowed his eyes, but a smile danced at his lips. It was rare when a woman stood up to him, hell it was rare for anyone to stand up to him, but Nadia carried it off with flare. _

"_Meanie." _

"_Yes, but she doesn't know your name either. So I suppose it all balances out." Nadia shrugged as they pulled to a stop outside the coffee house. "You coming, darling?" She directed at Darren as she opened the car door. _

"_Nah, I figured someone would have to bail this idiot out when we get pulled over by the cops." Darren smirked at her and dropped a kiss on her lips. _

_Nadia rolled her eyes. "Men." _

"_And you wouldn't have me any other way, darlin'!" Darren called after her and she turned with a wicked smile to him before disappearing into the shop. Darren turned back to Greg, a stupid grin tugging at his lips. _

"_Pathetic." Greg muttered and Darren just chuckled evilly. _

"_Just you wait, it's gonna happen to you." _

_Greg just snorted in disbelief, ignoring the fact that Darren was right nearly as often as he was. _

…_**end excerpt…**_

Cuddy scowled as she tossed the book onto the table and glared down at it. She didn't want to read it. She didn't want to see how he had been bribed into taking her out. To 'pity fuck some geek' the words stung even though she hadn't been aware until now that he had actually said them. She didn't want to see that the cost of her heart had been a lump of metal and leather. She scrubbed a hand through her hair and snapped it back into a band in one fluid move. She already had her sweats and sneakers on. She knew that she couldn't stay locked in this cabin, not when she was in this kind of mood. She had to get out. She had to run until she couldn't go any further.

Maybe when she stopped running she might actually be able to pick up that damn book and force herself to read it. She slammed her way out of the door and zipped up her top. She bounded down the steps and started off at a slow jog to warm up. After about half a mile of that, she was more than ready to move onto her real running pace.

Her head dipped slightly, her fists clenched and her stride lengthened. Her feet slapped down on the uneven road as air bellowed in and out of her heaving lungs. Her skin hummed with endorphins, every nerve ending fired, every particle of air that hit her seemed to register. All the problems seemed to fade away and become clear at the same time. She followed a route that she made up as she went. It was probably stupid. There were probably all sorts of things out here that would quite happily make a meal out of her in the falling night, but she didn't care. She could still see well enough and she wasn't going to stop running until she was good and ready.

Cuddy slid to a halt on the wet leaves of the forest floor and stooped to rest her hands on her knees. Her panting breaths were harsh and loud in the evening quiet of the woods. The air clouded in front of her and seemed to be the only movement in the shadow shrouded forest. She still wasn't ready to stop running though.

Now, wasn't that familiar?

Something scared her, so she ran. Something pissed her off so she ignored it. Something actually looked like real life so she buried herself so hard in work that she wasn't in any danger of being mistaken as alive.

It was a vicious circle and she was sickened by it. She needed…a change. She needed to change herself. Her head dropped forward and she stared sightlessly at the lengthening shadows on the forest floor. It was time to stop blaming House for her problems. She needed to figure this out and either resolve it or learn to move on. She couldn't stay trapped in the limbo that she was floating in.

Cuddy straightened and swiped a hand across her brow. It was time to turn back, get out of the dark and back into the cosy warmth of her cabin. Time to look back so she could move forward.

It was finally time.


	6. Chapter 6

Okay, this is pure 'Inspirationals' stuff. There shall perhaps be more of the contemporary House and Cuddy in the next chapter, but that's the bit that's giving me the problems so I thought I'd post this for y'all.

It's been sitting in my hard drive collecting cyber dust for who knows how long so…yeah, here we are.

Um, also it has come to my attention that the breakers between switches in scene have disappeared again. Hopefully this chapter will have changed all that.

Read and review me peeps. It helps with the inspiration.

**Meeting For the First Time Again**

…_**an excerpt from 'The Inspirationals' by Nadia Darrow…**_

_Michigan, 1988_

"So, honey, have we found anyone who might fit the bill?" Nadia leant over and snatched the text book out of Lisa's hand to make sure she had the full and undivided attention of the other young woman while she spoke. "Hmm, how goes the manhunt?"

"Fine." Lisa snatched the book back. "Well, I've almost started."

"Oh, well then, a hundred grand well spent." Nadia said with an orbital eye roll. She looked over Lisa and noted the changes in the other woman in the past couple of months. She had put on some much needed weight, giving her figure a fashionably curving appeal. Her hair was stylishly cut, piled up on top of her head in a faintly Grecian style with stray curls tumbling down around her strikingly featured face. Nadia would kill for cheekbones like that. Lisa had discovered Prada heels with a vengeance and had been fully converted to Gucci now that her budget and new income allowed it. She truly was stunning.

And as such shouldn't have had any trouble finding a man that was more than willing to follow her around like a dutiful pet.

"It's not like shopping for groceries you know." Lisa said and sipped on her tea. Nadia didn't drink coffee so Lisa had to put up with this blend or last night's vodka. Nadia's expression softened, she knew she was asking something difficult of Lisa. Especially since she was the way Lisa was. The girl couldn't get her head around the fact that there was more to life than studying.

"Come on, Lisa, you're good with goals. The goal is to get a nice chap and take him out for a spin or three then report back. I'm not asking you to marry the man."

"Easy for you to say. A guy takes one look at me and expects me to jump out of my clothes. You're lucky you have someone as nice as…" Lisa trailed off as her eyes slid over Nadia's shoulder as Darren stumbled into the room. Unaware that he was the subject of their conversation. His mowhawk had been trimmed so that it was no longer purple at the ends and it hung in a fall of black hair down over one eye since he hadn't found the hair gel yet. Or any clothes for that matter. He stumbled into the living room and squinted at Lisa as he stretched up on a yawn.

He stilled mid-yawn appearing to realise something. "Not sure, but really hoping." He said as he pointed down his body. "Pants?"

Nadia twisted around on the couch and grinned as she realised why Lisa had a flaming blush high over her sharp cheekbones. "No, darling, clothes first _then_ we greet visitors."

Darren nodded and turned back to stagger back to the bedroom. Presumably to find clothes.

Lisa cleared her throat uncertainly. Nadia arched a brow at her. "You were saying?"

"Is that your name he has tattooed on his…body?" Lisa finally finished and Nadia resisted the urge to laugh at her friend's discomfort.

"Well, I think I might have objected to having another woman's name there. Now, do we have a short list?"

"Not really. I was kind of hoping to wing it." Nadia scowled at her. "It's only been a few weeks."

"Three months and that's three months closer to my deadline."

"Which is two years away." Lisa shifted uncomfortably, she didn't like taking Nadia's money and not giving something in return. Nadia was patient but Lisa was unsure how long she could put finding a date off for.

Nadia scowled again. "I didn't get to being a world wide bestseller by sitting and twiddling my thumbs with every available writing moment. You understand, you have a work ethic too. Now, what about this Aidan character? The one on the lacrosse team. You said you liked the look of him on the pitch."

Lisa shrugged one shoulder. It hadn't actually been Aidan James she had been looking at. It had been the captain of the team. The one she had seen Darren talking to. She had only caught a glimpse of him as he had headed off to the showers and she had definitely liked what she had seen. He had been tall, over six feet, with coal black hair and a huge smile as he had laughed with Darren. She had liked that smile. She had the feeling he didn't do it often. Aidan had seemed nice as well with his all American good looks and flopping blonde hair that he tossed his head frequently to keep out of his eyes. Lisa had wondered why he hadn't just gotten it cut but apparently he thought the head flick was dashing and attractive to the 'ladies'. Lisa thought it made him look like he had a mild form of epilepsy.

"He seemed nice." She hedged.

"Nice is good." Nadia smiled as she refilled her teacup. Darren walked past behind her to the kitchen wearing nothing but a pair of black speedo brief underwear with a roaring tiger's head blazoned across the crotch. Lisa hid a smile as she hummed in the back of her throat. "Nice is not good?"

Lisa's eyebrows rose in surprise. "What? No. Nice is good."

Darren was holding an orange juice carton in his hand as he leant against the doorframe and stared at them. A frown low on his pierced brow. "Nice is good…" He echoed slowly and shook his head. "I'm never going to understand women, am I?" He asked the juice carton and drained it of its contents when it didn't answer him. A knock sounded at the door and he went to answer it uncaring of his state of undress. He threw open the door and grinned when he saw his best friend lounging on the other side.

"Oh, put a shirt on before you have somebody's eye out." Greg snorted at him and pushed past him into the lower floor apartment in the red brick boarding house that had been the only place in possession of enough character for Nadia to live in apparently. Greg was of the opinion that a house was a house. A place to live, sleep and possibly entertain the occasional conquest but nothing more than that. Having moved around a lot when he was younger and still an army brat he hadn't had much opportunity to put down roots or make any long term friends, he wasn't about to start now. If you got attached to something it just hurt all the more when it was inevitably ripped away.

Darren just smirked and gave another spine popping stretch and yawn while he followed Greg back into the living room. Greg marched to the sofa and crashed down beside Nadia, lounging his arm along the back and deliberately crowding her.

"Say, Nadia, when are you going to come to your senses and run away to the Kasbah with me?" He growled and bobbed his eyebrows at her. Nadia just laughed and pushed his face away.

"Greg, stop it, Darren must never know about our pining need for each other!" Nadia put her hand to her brow in mock angst and Darren just snorted and looked down his nose at them.

"She's out of your league, brother."

"Is not!" Greg looked offended at the mere notion. "Now leave us be, I'm going to show her what a real man can do, rowr!" He pretended to bite Nadia's neck and she just laughed harder pretending to shriek in alarm.

"Help! I'm being mauled by a serial Lothario!" Nadia gave a small scream as Greg tickled her ruthlessly in the ribs and had her writhing to get away from him.

Darren frowned as if something had just occurred to him. "Where's Lisa?"

"Right behind you."

Darren whirled around at the voice of the small young woman behind him and smiled down at her. She reminded him of the kid sister he'd never had. Though he doubted any other man would have the same reaction. Lisa may have been small, about five six, but she had a curving athletic build that apparently came from working herself into the ground as a waitress or track running when she had the time and energy. Wild tumbling brown/black hair that fell in corkscrew curls down her back when it wasn't piled up on top of her head like it was now and heavy lidded bedroom eyes of a flashing aquamarine colour that tended to change with her moods. She was dressed in a gold V neck with long sleeves and worn jeans that were so old they were nearly white.

"Hey, small fry, what do you say that we get a bucket of ice water and pour it on them?" Darren asked, looping his arm around her shoulders.

"Just one?" She asked back and Darren grinned. He loved that dry sense of humour that her husky voice could pull off. The way she lowered it an octave to show exactly how amusing she found something.

Greg lifted his attention away from finding all of Nadia's sensitive spots and scanned the room to find the owner of that voice. That low straight sex voice that belonged in a tousled sheeted bed after one hell of a wild night. His laser blue eyes landed on the second woman that he hadn't even noticed before. She stood next to Darren with his tattooed arm looped over her slim shoulders as if they had known each other for years. Greg sat back away from Nadia, who was finally managing to get her giggles under control. He looked down at the blonde as if mildly surprised.

"Nadia, I didn't know you were in _that _kind of relationship. Darren, you dog you." Darren rolled his eyes more than used to his friend's idiosyncrasies.

"What?" Nadia looked between them and promptly slapped Greg over the back of his head. "You heathen! Lisa's not like that, she's too good for the likes of Darren and I anyway."

"I'll note you didn't deny your taste for strawberries." Greg bobbed his eyebrows at her and Nadia huffed a sigh of irritation. She could hear Lisa stifling a laugh behind her.

"I've just never been as fussy as everyone else is." Nadia sniffed. "Besides, there's no such thing as bisexuality, it's just greed." Darren rolled his eyes and excused himself to get dressed.

Greg laughed despite himself and stopped when he noticed Lisa watching him. Her head tilted to the side like she was watching something she didn't quite understand. She had crossed the room to sit in the arm chair opposite him and folded her legs neatly in front of her like she was sitting on a throne instead of a worn leather chair.

"Keep staring. I'll do a trick." He informed her coolly. She blinked. Not having realised that she'd been ogling. So this was the man that Darren had been talking to on the lacrosse pitch. The captain of the team. She had to admit that he looked better close up. His worn leather jacket was pulled off to reveal broad shoulders and well defined arms that were bare of any tattoos unlike Darren's inked left side.

A smile that came out of nowhere curled her lips as she answered him slowly and evenly. "I think I'd like that."

Nadia was frozen on the couch looking between them. Chemistry crackled in the air and she was immediately on edge. Lisa _couldn't_ like Greg. The man would eat her alive. The only reason he put up with Nadia was because she was Darren's lover and because of Nadia's stubborn refusal to take any crap from him. Nadia didn't want her friend to be hurt by Greg. He never intended to, but he left a trail of broken hearts behind him wherever he went. He didn't want commitment or a relationship. He didn't want companionship. He wanted sex and a night of fun memories. Possibly two nights if the woman held his interest but that was about it.

"This is…" Nadia spoke to Lisa gesturing to Greg but didn't get to finish as Lisa spoke.

"I know who he is. Everybody on campus knows who he is." Lisa sat back in her chair and grinned a little as she spoke. "Gregory House, fifth year med student and asshole extraordinaire."

Nadia frowned. "You've met?"

"Never seen her before in my life." Greg said on a smile. He kind of liked this girl. She might be entertaining for a while. "My reputation kind of precedes me."

"Imagine that." Nadia drawled and looked over at Lisa. Her friend was watching Greg over the rim of her teacup like she wanted to pin him down and examine him from every angle. Or perhaps just pin him down. Nadia knew that look.

"And you are?" He sat forward and picked up Nadia's teacup by the rim, draining the contents in one gulp.

"I'm just here for the party." Lisa shrugged and sipped her tea again.

"Yo, let's go." Darren thumped Greg on the shoulder. He was now dressed and ready to roll. Greg didn't want to go, the mystery girl intrigued him. He hadn't caught her name and he wanted to know. Aside from Nadia, he couldn't remember the last woman that had stood up to him. It was a hell of a turn on and he'd be damned if he'd let her slip through his curious fingers.

"Tell me your name." He demanded, sitting forward on his seat to get closer to her. She smelled of cinnamon and vanilla. She just sat back in her chair and curled her legs up under her. She shook her head.

"I don't think so."

"Greg, let's go." Darren reached over and yanked at his friend's tee shirt like he were pulling at a particularly stubborn dog that was intent on sniffing out an intriguing trail to its source. Darren had picked up on Greg's interest and liked Lisa too much to allow his friend anywhere near her. He yanked again. "Greg!"

"Fine." Greg snapped and stood sharply. He shrugged on his jacket and never broke eye contact with Lisa. "We'll go but I'll see you later, party-pants."

"Not if I see you first." She smirked at him again and Darren practically had to drag him out of the door and down to his car.

Nadia met Lisa's eyes. "Lisa, you should know, about Greg…"

"He's a womanising bastard that leaves all females wailing and destitute in his wake? Yeah, I know."

"You've been involved before? Well, don't take it so personally, he's terrible with faces."

"No…we were never involved, actually this is the first time I've been within fifty feet of him."

"Oh, then…?" Nadia rolled her hand on her wrist in silent question. She was intrigued despite herself. Her author senses were tingling and she wanted to know what the story was. She knew that Greg would generate rumours like a storm did lightening, but she'd never actually made a point of finding out what the rumours _were._

"He interests me." Was all Lisa said and Nadia's eyes narrowed.

"Lisa, darling, I've seen you around men. You don't mean to but you go into complete and utter Ice Queen mode. I mean, I'm surprised you don't leave a trail of men suffering from frostbite behind you. That was…" Nadia gestured to the still rumpled couch where Greg had been sitting and then back to her friend. "That was _hot_."

Lisa scoffed with a toss of her head. "Nadia, you're…"

"Nooo, not imagining it." Nadia shook an admonishing finger at her. "You can't go near him, Lisa. He's poison to women."

Lisa frowned. "I have no intention of chasing after Gregory House…besides, I thought he was your friend."

"He is, I love the man like a brother, but he doesn't know…he can't change. Greg is exactly as he was intended and every female that comes into contact with him thinks that they'll be the one to change him. They can't help it because he's so intense. All of that attention focused on you is a powerful thing. Darren's exactly the same…but without the toxicity."

Lisa tilted her head. "Alright, I wasn't going to go after him anyway."

Nadia sat back in her chair and scrutinised her friend carefully. "Really?"

"Really. I thought I was supposed to get someone normal, and Greg House is anything but. Am I right?" Nadia nodded, unaware that Lisa didn't really believe her about Greg. She wondered what must have happened to him to make him so afraid of a real connection with another person. She smiled brightly at Nadia. "So, Aidan, you think you can write about him?"

Nadia smiled back. Relieved. "Sure, if you can stand being on a date with him."

"For a hundred grand…probably." Lisa smirked and Nadia laughed. The idea that any amount of money could motivate Lisa to do anything she really didn't want to do had become a bit of a running joke between them. Lisa looked down at the swirling tea in her cup. The cloud of milk she had just added made it look almost like there was a storm in there. She wondered if that was the same as the problem with Gregory House…or was there really something to Nadia's warnings?

$inister $cribe

Lisa sat opposite Aidan and tried not to look as bored as she felt. She propped her chin on her hand and blinked slowly, willing herself not to fall asleep. The man was _boring. _Nearly two hours into their 'date' and he had yet to ask her a question about herself or even manage to get off the topic of sports and his apparently amazing prowess at the aforementioned athletics. She'd rather sit and write an essay on the pros and cons of the lumbar puncture than listen to this insensitive prick for another second…but she had promised Nadia so here she was. She guessed she'd just have to grin and bare it.

Well, maybe not grin, that might be construed as encouraging to the jock lounging across from her in the coffee shop. He had wanted to take her for dinner and a movie but the thought of drinking wine and then being enclosed in a dark 'romantic' theatre with this idiot was bordering on repulsive.

"Well helloooo, Party-pants!"

Lisa jumped as the chair beside her spun around on one leg, clattered back to all fours and then was straddled by none other than the long and lean frame of Gregory House. He folded his arms over the back of the chair, his leather jacket creaking at the movement and grinned wickedly at her. "Going to tell me your name yet?"

"Hey, House, we're kind of in the middle of something here." Aidan spoke up and a single quelling look from his team captain had the younger and smaller man sitting back in his chair nervously.

"And what would that be, James? She's about to pass out from boredom."

Lisa swallowed, a flush staining her cheeks. She hadn't realised she'd been that transparent. She opened her mouth to deny it but found that she couldn't bring herself to. Greg turned back to her and offered her a truly dazzling grin with shining white teeth. He edged the chair closer to her with a jerk of his hips and a squeak from the floor. "Come on, Party-pants, tell me your name."

Lisa sighed. "If I tell you will you go away?"

His grin widened. "Probably not."

She folded her arms on the table top mimicking his pose and leant towards him so that their faces were inches apart. "Then why should I tell you?"

His eyes blazed as they tracked over her from the top of her hair down her body and around the table edge to take in her pointed stiletto heels. "Well, I think I should have some prior warning to what name I'll be screaming tonight in bed."

Lisa arched a brow and struggled against a smile. "Sure of yourself, aren't you?"

"Don't know any other way to be."

"Greg, honey? I thought you were getting a drink?"

Both Lisa and Greg turned slowly as one to look up at the tall leggy blonde standing over them. She was obviously dressed to impress and the object of her affections barely even glanced at her. He turned to the other man at the table instead and jerked his head back towards the other woman. "James, this is Anna, she'll be your date this evening."

"My name's Megan, and are you ditching me?!" Her voice rose an impressive range of octaves for the last word and Lisa managed to repress a wince. This was quickly becoming a very embarrassing situation. Greg turned and explained to her as if to a small child. "Now, Margaret, you'll like Aidan here a lot more than you'll like me. Trust me on this."

"Greg!" Megan shrieked at him and Greg turned back to Aidan.

"Take her off my hands or I'll have you off the team." Aidan practically leapt from his chair and went into immediate smooth talking mode for Megan. Even managing to get her name right. House turned back to the seat that Lisa should have occupied and froze when he found it empty. Sitting up straighter he scanned the coffee shop, with half of the patrons staring at him with avid interest, and smirked again when his eyes lit on the retreating form of Party-pants. He bounded out of his seat and followed her quickly out into the street. "Hey! Wait up!" He jogged to catch up with her. Her heels clicking rapidly against the sidewalk as she drew her long winter jacket around her and belted it tightly at her waist. He fell into step beside her. "Aren't you even going to talk to me now?"

"You were on a date with another woman!" She rounded on him and yelled incredulously. Greg stopped too and shrugged.

"But you were more interesting."

"Oh, yes, I can see how that's a perfect reason to interrupt _my_ date and embarrass me completely." She snapped at him, spun away and stalked further down the street. Greg heaved a sigh, this wasn't exactly going to plan.

"You weren't really interested in James, he can't give you what you need."

"And I suppose after a sum total of three minutes in my presence that _you_ can provide me with what I supposedly need?" She shot a sly glance at him. "Tell me, what's the zip code for your ego?"

"Anyone ever tell you you're angry when you're beautiful?"

"No." She didn't break stride and he decided to try a different tact.

"I know that he bored you. I know that I don't. I know that you reacted to me unlike you reacted to any other man in that place. They all wanted you, they were all staring at you but I was the only one that you stared back at." He circled in front of her and stopped, forcing her to halt and tilt her head back to meet his eyes. Which she did fiercely and without hesitation. God, she was gorgeous. He smiled at her, a real smile, the one that he rarely used. "Tell me your name."

"No." She stepped out onto the street and hailed a taxi. The yellow cab slowed to a halt for her and she threw herself into it, slamming the door. Greg threw it open and forced her to shuffle along the seat to make room for him.

"Tell me your name." He said again and she growled, throwing open the door on the opposite side and bailing out of the tax. Greg grinned wider and gave chase once more. He ignored the cabby swearing at them both and followed her back up onto the opposite sidewalk. "I just want your name. It's not as if I'm asking for your credit card details."

She stopped and sighed. Glaring at him like that alone had the power to make him disappear. Her lips twisted and she shifted her weight clearly deciding whether or not to acquiesce to him. "Cuddy." She finally said and he could have whooped for the small triumph.

"Second or first?"

Another cavernous sigh. "Second."

"I'll call you Cuddles." She started walking again.

"The hell you will."

"Then I want the first name too." He needled her, sensing her fraying temper. He wondered what she might do if she lost patience with him. "Why won't you tell me?"

"Because you're an ass."

"So, you're pissy and stand-offish, remote, even. I still wanna know your name."

"You interrupted my date and ditched your own. Even if I did tell you my name and if I did let you take me out somewhere, what's to stop you from doing the same thing to me?"

He stood still a moment. Looking down at her with burning blue eyes, bright even in the dim light of the street lamps. "I promise not to take you on a single date. You'll be safe from ditchings."

She stepped closer to him, zeroing in on the one question he didn't want to answer. "Why do you want to know?" She spoke each word slowly so he couldn't miss them. He tilted his head, impressed despite himself. Damn, how had she known that was the one thing he hadn't wanted to talk about?

"You interest me."

Her eyes widened and she rocked back on her heels. She looked like that had been the last thing she had expected him to say.

She turned and walked away from him, but not in the previous angry power walk that had sent her marching along the street before. He fell into step with her and stuffed his hands into his jeans pockets. He looked down at her, her head dipped forward to watch their feet on the ground. They were silent for a few moments. He faltered when she jogged up a set of steps and reached into her pocket for a key to the brightly lit front door of the redbrick tenement building. It was a classy place. Similar to Nadia's pad. He moved up the steps behind her and stood so close that she couldn't fail to feel the heat that his body radiated. Her head came up and she slowly turned. A smile played at her lips and she looked up at him through half-mast lashes.

"What are you doing?"

His eyes scanned her greedily. "Looking for a tell." He'd walked her home. Fair enough, he hadn't intended to, but he never walked his dates home. Technically she wasn't his date either but that was something he was prepared to work on.

"Lisa."

He blinked. He'd been lost in her eyes for a moment. Something about her drew him to her. She had this aura that he was rapidly becoming addicted too. He was hungry for her. he'd never wanted anyone as much as he wanted her. He wanted to know what made her tick, what made her laugh, what made her scream. He known a lot of women but he'd never really _known_ them. He hadn't even realised there had been a difference until now.

"Lisa." He repeated it slowly. Rolling the word over and over in his head. Letting it slip off his tongue and flutter up into the night sky reeling above them. She smirked wickedly up at him then.

"You can scream it later in the shower if you like."

He grinned, another genuine smile. "Wicked woman." He leant forward bracing his arm against the door beside her head, caging her in his larger frame. "So, do I get a goodnight kiss?"

"Do you think you deserve one?" She asked back, enjoying herself.

"Well, a date is entitled to his goodnight kiss. Just because we lost our dates doesn't mean we should be deprived." He reasoned and she tilted her head arching a mocking brow.

"I think that rule is kind of negated if you give your date away."

"I won't tell if you won't."

Her eyes slid to his mouth and he knew he had her. He leaned in closer and tilted her chin up with two fingers under her jaw. "You'll enjoy it."

"Hmm, I'm not sure if I should. You come with a warning label." He frowned slightly at that. What was she talking about? "Nadia told me you're toxic."

He blinked at that and she didn't miss the flash of hurt in his eyes. He shifted his weight, preparing to pull back, but that was exactly what she had been looking for. That flash of emotion. The briefest strike of emotional lightening to let her know that he was human after all. She wouldn't be like those other girls, she wouldn't think that she could change him, but that didn't mean that she could look for what was buried beneath the surface. Who the real Gregory House was. Her fingers slid up over his chest and around behind his neck. She tugged lightly and that was all the invitation he needed.

His mouth came down on hers softly. Somehow she'd expected hard and brash but there was a finesse to Greg that wasn't immediately obvious and he used it to his full advantage. Her eyes fluttered closed at the contact. It was pleasant but not exactly earth shattering. His tongue flicked at the corner of her mouth and she parted her lips with a small sigh, wondering if this was going to be another necking session that left her wanting.

His hand tightened at her nape and pulled, forcing her to arch her back, pushing her body full against his. His tongue snaked boldly into her mouth and set her senses on fire. She moaned softly, unaware of doing so and returned the kiss with matching passion.

The door was hard against her back and he stepped closer to her, her body melting against his. His fingers tripped up, tangling in her hair and sending it sprawling down over her shoulders with a patter of pins against the stone steps beneath their feet. Her arms were wrapped around his neck and holding him close without her having any memory of reaching for him.

A sudden flood of illumination had her jerking away from him guiltily as if caught doing something she wasn't supposed to be doing. She turned as the door opened to reveal Mrs Marsh, her landlady. The aged bird of a woman regarded them somewhat fiercely and sucked in a drag of blue smoke from the cigarette dripping from her lips. She tightened her rose pink robe around her body and patted the huge curlers in her hair with one gnarled hand.

"Girl, puttin' out on the front porch is never advisable." She said in a broken glass voice and then turned to walk away, shuffling back along the hallway towards her still blaring television in the communal sitting room.

Lisa felt her embarrassment blaze over her face even as Greg laughed huskily in her ear.

"You going to invite me in?"

She stepped hurriedly away from him, leaving him bereft of her contact and shook her head on a small smile. "No. That's for the third date and since you promised not to take me on a single date…" She tilted her head and shrugged in a 'too bad' expression.

Greg's eyes narrowed but he was smiling at her rather than annoyed. He kind of liked the idea of pursuing her…for a while. He braced both hands on the door frame and leant in over the threshold to bring his face to within kissing distance again.

"Everybody lies." He told her confidently and she smiled wider at him.

"Is that a promise?"

"Be here, tomorrow night at seven. I'm taking you out." He ordered her and she arched a mockingly disbelieving brow.

"A date?"

"Never a date." His hands slid around her neck again and he kissed her hard if briefly before stepping away again. His hand sliding down her back and over the curve of her ass with a teasing appreciation. "But definitely a seduction." He grinned at her, kissed her again and then shut the door behind him on the way out.

He jogged down the steps back to the street, feeling lighter than he had in a long time and stared up at the myriad of stars still visible even through the haze of the city smog and lights.

Oh yes, let the games begin.


	7. Chapter 7

**Okies, short chapter, with a bit of contemporary Cuddy in there…yeah I know I haven't updated this in…jesus, a long time. **

**This has been sitting on my desktop for MONTHS and I have just finally gotten around to scrapbooking this chapter together from other bits and pieces that have been laying around so it may seem…disjointed I suppose in places but it's three in the morning and I thought I'd better post this before the impetuous left me. **

**Thanks for all the loverly reviews, thanks for being so patient with me and thank you, thank you, thank you for keeping with me this long. **

**You're all darlings, ciao, $cribe.**

**The Analysis**

Cuddy stared at the book on the table and realised that she had no intention of reading it today. The previous chapters that she had immersed herself in the night before had been draining.

The weight of what was coming in the 'plot' was already pressing down on her mind. That inevitable rush of the oncoming freight train of twenty-twenty hindsight screaming at her to jump off the tracks and save herself some heartache had eventually become too much to bare at some ungodly hour in the morning.

So, she had gone to bed. Cold, alone and drained. Sleeping like the dead until now. She'd gone for her run, procrastinating, putting off the inevitable. She hadn't brought any other books with her and the light but cold rain outside prevented her from going on a walk. Anything on the television was frictionless to her attention span and her eyes kept on sliding back to that stupid greyscale and gold cover. Not for the first time, she wanted to cast it into the merrily crackling fire and burn it until it was nothing but ashes. Her fingers wandered over the cover now. She could feel the thick card of the laminate cover, protecting the canvas binding from stains and wearing.

Sometimes she wished she had a cover like that over her.

Something she could shed when it became to tainted and dirty. Something that would keep her dry in the storm.

Cuddy sat on the edge of the couch and covered her tired gritty eyes with her fingertips. She massaged her brow and tried to work up some enthusiasm for just general living. She was too alone up here. She had thought the solitude would be good for her but she needed to hear something human…but not the TV and not an actual person. She didn't think she could handle real conversation or insipidly airbrushed celebrities right now.

So, she flipped on the radio instead. Reception was grainy this high up and it was either bible bashing or country and western out here…so Cuddy took Dolly Parton over the Good Revered Jeremiah.

She couldn't stop looking at that fucking book.

The long untold, un-thought about story seeming to pulse from within the pages. Needing to be faced, to be acknowledged like the tell tale heart. She could feel her ribs creak like shifting floorboards over the own steady beating of her heart. The aching pump with her every breath of her day.

This had to stop.

She had to face this.

It was heard. Her thoughts were like lead. She didn't know if it would break her, but if it didn't, then she'd come out of it stronger.

It felt like a long time since she'd been strong.

About twenty years, now that she thought on it…

**$inister $cribe**

"So, you did go on a date last night?"

"Yeah." Lisa tried not to sound too offended that Nadia wasn't believing her on this.

"And he took you out to dinner?"

"Uh-huh."

"And then you went to a coffee shop afterwards?"

"Uh-huh."

"And it was with Aidan James?"

"Correct."

Nadia folded her arms across her chest and arched a brow at Lisa. "Then _why_ did I see Aidan with Menna McCanthro last night?"

"It was Megan and…you saw them together?" Lisa spluttered slightly and then recovered quickly. "Well, her date…her date ditched her." Lisa pasted a look of sincere pity on her face…well, she had found the venerated Megan to be completely deserving of Aidan. "And…I…gave her…mine." Okay, so the sentence had started off well but then it had kind of gotten away from her.

"The first man you stay interested in long enough for the poor sod to get out three syllables in your general direction and…you give him away?" Nadia enunciated the last part slowly to underscore her blatant disbelief.

"Well, Megan was really upset and…okay, I'll admit it, Aidan is as boring as a white bread mayonnaise sandwich during a game of golf and I just might have vaulted over the table, ducked around the corner and left my favourite jacket behind in my escape attempt." Lisa grudgingly admitted and braced herself for Nadia's blow out. She didn't know why she didn't want to tell Nadia that she had let Greg follow her home and kiss her goodnight. She just knew that Nadia wouldn't react well to it.

"Lisa, that's…" Nadia stopped suddenly and a slow smile spread over her features. "That's absolutely hilarious, I knew you were worth the money!" she flipped open her pad and clicked her pen, jotting down notes in some obscure form of Sanskrit that she laughingly referred to as 'shorthand', and was completely unintelligible to the rest of the human race. "But we need to find you another man." She looked up and around the coffee shop (a different haunt after last night's embarrassment).

Lisa smothered her groan. She had picked Aidan and he'd been a complete idiot that had nearly bored her to tears…besides, she fidgeted with her teaspoon in her tea, she had that date that wasn't a date tonight with Greg. Lisa looked up guiltily to Nadia in case the blonde had heard her thinking and was relieved to see the scrutinising look on Nadia's face directed at nearly every male in the room but, thankfully, not at Lisa herself.

"How about…?"

"No." Lisa didn't even look. Never go with the first choice.

"Or him? He's nice." Because nice had been so successful last time.

"No." Lisa pulled out her medical textbook and decided to get a few hours of studying in while Nadia was trying to make her pitch. The second choice was too easy as well she decided.

"Okay, him then. Argue with that specimen of male virility." Nadia snapped, a trace of exasperation creeping into her tone. They had been sitting in the coffee shop for the better part of and hour and Lisa's complete lack of interest was beginning to grate. Nadia watched as Lisa lifted her head and looked across the crowded room to see the tall dark haired man standing with his back to them. She tilted her head and watched him a moment before jerking back in her seat as he turned around.

"I don't need to add anything to that argument." She said and dropped her gaze back to her textbook.

"Yikes…that's a nose." Nadia murmured and then turned back to Lisa and propped her chin on her hand. "You're going to have to pick someone."

"I will." Lisa told her and turned the page of her book. "In my own sweet time."

Nadia narrowed her eyes but couldn't bring herself to get truly irate. Lisa was…nice. Nadia didn't know many nice people. Sure, they were witty or amusing or they said all the right things in all the right places but there was a…sincerity about Lisa that just couldn't be faked. She genuinely cared about other people and had taken Nadia under her wing despite the fact that Nadia felt no need for the shelter. Nadia couldn't remember the last time she'd have someone insist she wear a jacket or eat some breakfast or anything else that a friend would do. It was kind of pleasant to have someone else looking out for you, even though you didn't need it.

"Have you decided on the second task yet?" Lisa asked absently, turning the page yet again and pulling Nadia from her reverie.

"Um, standard second date. Dinner and dancing. Classy restaurant, good club after wards and…how do you feel about smooches?"

That finally got Lisa to pull her nose out of her book. "You mean with you or in general?" Lisa arched a brow as her tongue slid into her cheek. That was another thing Nadia liked about her, there was always that playful side to her that was barely restrained at times and then buried so far under her work ethic at others it was hard to believe that she was in possession of a sense of humour.

Nadia narrowed her eyes. "One time! One time and I'm punished for the rest of my life…but it's an interesting thought. How do you feel about taking a girl out instead?"

Lisa's teacup clattered back into the saucer and she shot a glare at Nadia that the writer had fast come to identify as the Medusa-death-glare. She shrugged easily. "Or not."

"Harrumph." Lisa said succinctly and went back to her book. Nadia sighed cavernously.

"Okay, what do you like in a man?"

Lisa shrugged.

Nadia narrowed her eyes again. "Well, that's just maddeningly unhelpful." She sat back in her chair and thought for a moment. "Brains or brawn?"

"Brains." Lisa answered automatically.

"Skill or luck?"

"Skill."

"Funny or serious?"

"Funny."

"Classically handsome or quirky?"

This time Lisa did laugh out loud and several male heads turned at the sound. "Quirky."

Nadia rocked her chair back onto two legs and grinned as she warmed to the game. Life was a game, she loved games.

"Noble or cunning?"

"Cunning." Lisa said on a small snort. What was the English girl up to now? Was she going to start a checklist or something?

"Brute strength or finesse?"

"Finesse." Lisa's fingers traced over her mouth, remembering the way Greg had kissed her last night. The sort of teasing unexpected take of his movements. She gave a small sort of dreamy smile.

Nadia sat forward on her chair and leant her elbows against the table. Staring at Lisa until the dark haired girl lifted her head and looked back. "Face or body?"

"Body." Lisa said on an entirely different kind of smile.

"Chest or ass?" Said Nadia adopting an American accent to drawl out the 'ass'.

"Ass." Lisa laughed, beginning to enjoy herself. She had copped a bit of a feel last night, Greg House definitely knew how to fill out a pair of Levis.

"Hands or mouth?"

Lisa tilted her head and actually applied some thought to this one. She ran her fingers over her lips again and stared idly out of the window. Nadia took a moment to look her friend over in her new black silk shirt and skirt that she was wearing. She wore her hair piled high up on top of her head today. Huge glossy looping curls tumbling down off the crown of her head in a vaguely Grecian style that emphasised the slim column of her neck and softened the sharp lines of her face. She was still a little too thin, giving her features a vaguely gaunt appearance at times but, now that she had actually managed to have a few extra hours sleep and eat a decent meal or three, she practically glowed with health. Something that wasn't lost on that senior student over there, his green eyes tracing the way her fingers slipped over her lips with rapturous intensity.

Seriously, the boy was practically drooling.

"Mouth." Lisa decided eventually and dropped her hand. One of the guys at another table actually made a small sound of disappointment.

"Dark or fair?"

"Definitely dark."

"Good or bad?" Lisa opened her mouth and Nadia stopped her with a single raised finger. "Honestly!"

Lisa was silent a long moment and then smiled. "Every girl loves a bad boy."

Nadia grinned and sipped her mocha. "Okay, so we're looking for a smart, skilfully funny man who uses his cunning with finesse, has a great, if quirkily handsome, body, _fantastic_ ass, a mouth that is good at other things besides compliments and who's a big dark _bad_ boy."

Lisa nodded on a smile. "Sounds about right."

Nadia planted her chin on her hand again and stared around at the relatively slim pickings to be had in the coffee shop. She looked over to Lisa, who had turned back to her book and was now reading something that was, no doubt, mind numbingly fascinating, but wasn't really helping her find a man-shape to help with Nadia's little project. Nadia gusted a sigh and balefully sipped her rapidly cooling coffee.

"I think we're going to need a bigger coffee shop."


End file.
